I'm Still Here

Ch. 23

Hudson came to visit and brought daisies. My happy flower. I stirred a bit so my visitors would know I was waking up from my nap. I hoped I was pulling off this acting job convincingly. I blinked my eyes open a few times and looked around the room like I was assessing my surroundings and reminding myself where I was.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty," Hudson said with a smile.

I smiled back and said "Hi" with my raspy voice. For a second, we locked eyes and it felt like the rest of the world fell away. A squeaky wheel delivering my lunch broke the trance and Hudson immediately looked embarrassed, like he'd been caught doing something he shouldn't. It made me feel a little twinge of hurt that he had pulled back, but then Grant started talking and I remembered that he's still my boyfriend.

My friends or "friends" filled me in on everything that happened at school while I was in the coma. I got to continue my acting practice when I pretended that I was hearing everything for the first time. Some things I really didn't know though because they didn't talk about them at the hospital like that Jenny Garcia and Mark Johnson had broken up in an epic screaming match during a school assembly.

When my doctor came in to give me an update on my test results my friends shuffled out and let my parents come back in. Things were looking good and I was doing surprisingly well for someone who had been in a coma for the past few weeks. Tomorrow they will assess how I am at walking since I've been laying in the bed for so long. My muscles would naturally atrophy so there's talk of possible physical therapy. But, other than that, it looks like I might be able to go home in a day or two and continue regaining my strength from the comfort of my own home.

Once I'm home, I'm going to initiate the conversation with Grant about breaking up. It's going to be harder to talk to Belle about not being friends anymore unless Grant fesses up to the cheating. Because without that confession I wouldn't have a reason to cut her out. I also need to find a way to talk to Hudson about everything and hope he doesn't think I'm completely insane despite the fact that he seemed to accept the fact that I was communicating with him while in a coma. I don't know which is going to be the easiest conversation to have. I do, however, enjoy thinking about the fact that I can mess with Grant and Belle a little on this side of the coma. Make little suggestive comments that I know everything and could see them while I was out.

****

Two days later I was released from the hospital and allowed to continue to recover at home. A steady stream of visitors came in and out of my house like a revolving door. Neighbors, friends, relatives that I only remember seeing once or twice in my life now wanted to see me and act like we talked all the time pre-coma.

Grant and Belle came to visit - separately - and I wanted to confront both of them. So bad. But, every time I thought I had built up the nerve to bring it up, I chickened out. My heart would start to beat fast, my palms would get sweaty. I could literally feel the damp sweat start to collect under my hair. I told myself I could do it tomorrow. What's one more day of acting like everything is a-okay and two of the people closest to me haven't been lying to my face for God knows how long?

But, today is the day. I think. No, it definitely will be. I can't go another day with Grant thinking we're a couple. And I can't go another day with Belle acting like we're still best friends when we're clearly not. The stress of pretending is giving me constant anxiety.

I hear my phone ding that I have a text message.

Grant: Hey, babe, sorry I can't swing by today. My mom totally forgot to tell me that we had a family bbq at my aunt's today. I'll call you tonight and see you tomorrow. Promise!

Of course that would happen. The day I'm determined to break up with him, he can't come over. If I confront Belle today before breaking up with Grant then she'll tell him I know and it's going to turn into a much bigger dramatic debacle than I had planned. I sigh in frustration. Why can't anything ever go according to plan?