Chapter 19

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A/N: I literally just that we're at 10k READS!!! I'm so fricking shook. Thank y'all so much for reading and enjoying this story, you guys are the best <3
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"I want you to meet my parents."

What?

I've never been speechless before. Like I was completely and utterly speechless. I couldn't even look him in his eye nor could I say anything.

"You don't have to if you don't want to..." he sounded so sad to say that.

"No no- ahem- no that's not aha that's em- I just don't know what to say babe I'm sorry," I stuttered. "I'm just shocked is all, so fix your face." I smiled and tapped him underneath his chin. He didn't smile until I sat on him and nuzzled my face into his neck.

He smells really good... I picked a good cologne.

"I would love to meet your parents! I'm just in shock you want me to meet your parents," I admitted. I felt a hand gingerly sweep across my arm as he sighed heavily.

"I love you Grace... I'm in love with you! Why wouldn't I want my parents to meet my future wife?" He responded.

I felt my cheeks heat up and I tried to bury myself into him, making him laugh.

"Don't be embarrassed, I'm just telling you the truth," he chuckled.

"The fact that you're finding the joy in my uncomfort, is sick," I teased from the underside of his throat.

"We'll then let me show another way I find joy..."

O_o

"I don't know how long we been in this phase but we've been like this ever since my Sweet Girl was born. Just very loving and unable to keep our hands off of each other," I— I don't know, um— complained?

"I'm not seeing the issue," my overly stressed Eonni said, rocking the bassinet.

This is the first time in over a while that I've gone home. Not to say I haven't seen my friend but I haven't been to this side of town since Jay and I got back together.

Once we finally decided to leave my apartment, I packed my bag and never came back. Eonni has been staying at her boyfriend's place since it's bigger, which is close to Jay's, so I haven't really needed to come over. She ended up coming home for the weekend since pH1 had some work shit to do or... something like that. I'll be honest. I was paying little attention to her and playing with my Sweet Girl while she awake, so I don't quite remember.

"It's so stressful," I huffed, blowing my hair out my face. "It's constant and literally all the time. I have bruises for fucking days." I rolled up my sleeve and showed her the damage. "And while I like the way he's giving it, I can't wear short sleeves right now because people will think I'm being abused."

Laughter rang in the air. "I'm convinced you are being abused but you have to like it because Grace what the fuck," She chortled.

"Leave me alone," I blushed. "It doesn't look that bad."

"Oh but it does," she disagreed, wiping tears out of her eyes.

"Nooo," I whined. "Don't say that! Jay wants me to meet his parents and they get into town tomorrow."

"Sounds like you need to buy full body makeup to hide those vicious marks," she teased. "But that's exciting!! You're finally meeting his parents?"

I put my head in my hands and press my elbows into my thighs, sighing heavily.

"Exciting? More like nerve-wracking. I've been sick to my stomach at the thought of meeting them ever since he brought it up. Don't get me wrong, I really want this and wanna meet them... but I'm so scared. What if they don't like me? What if they say I'm too dark for their son? What if they don't approve of me?" Words spilled out of my mouth faster than I was able to process them.

She stopped rocking the bassinet. "Do you really think his parents would say something like that?"

"Nah I don't... at least not forreal forreal but it's still a fear that's there I guess... I mean— ugh! —I know that his parents knew he'd end up with a black girl, like that must've been obvious, but I just... I'm scared that this rich shade of brown won't be respected. I'm not the sought after kind of black girl, ya know?"

Eonni was quiet for a few beats, probably trying to collect her thoughts.

"I didn't know you had doubts like this," she told me. "I'm not quite sure how to respond."

I gave her a sad smile. "No it's okay, you listening enough honestly. It's hard to know what to say when it's not an issue you face. I have so much working against me. You are the Korean beauty standard Soo and I– um– I feel like I'm the exact opposite. I'm not skinny, I'm not a porcelain shade, I don't have long black hair... I'm just scared they won't approve." My stomach was in full blown knots as I continued to spill my guts.

"I'm sure they'll approve... and if they don't, that's their problem. You are amazing, smart, and absolutely gorgeous! I can't tell you that what you're feeling isn't as big of a deal as you think it is because to you, it is. Though I think you have nothing to worry, your feelings are valid. I know that Koreans can be notorious for being judgmental at times but personally, I think if Jay thought his parents would trip about him being with you, he wouldn't have suggested you meet them." She got up from her chair and hugged me tight.

How did she know I was crying behind my hands?

"I can't tell you how to feel, but I think you should voice your concerns to Jay. Because he might be better able to ease your fears." I nodded against her shoulder as she rubbed my back.

"You're one tough cookie Grace and Jay was— no, is lucky to have you and if his parents don't realize that, then that's their loss, not yours." She held me tighter as my body began to shake. I pulled my hands down and wrapped them around her, finally returning her embrace.

I didn't know how deep the fear of not being accepted ran. I'm terrified of being rejected by Jay's friends and family, because if they say no to me... will he still say yes? If they don't like me... will he still want me? I'm scared that the day I'm not deemed acceptable, he's gonna throw me away like yesterday's newspaper. That's my biggest fear.

"Saranghae Eonni," I whispered, laying my head on her shoulder.

"I love you too."
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Sorry if this story seems all over the place. It's sooo hard to write a love story when you're heartbroken lol but I started it in the midst of my depression so I'll figure it out. Don't worry bout me tho I'll be fine, I got some good news the other day, hence the update. Let's hope for more good news. Anyway, let me know what you think and tell me if you're confused about anything, okay? Until the next chapter. -K

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