Afternoon (Jay Park Fanfic)

Chapter 32

September 2020

The day Jay proposed was so perfect. However, I realized I wasn't paying attention. Jay explained it to me after the fact, that he'd been planning this for the last couple months. If I had actually paid attention, I would've noticed that the set did not have a lot of people, that the girls who pampered me and that disappeared as soon as I walked onto the set, but because I had never been to one of his video shoots, I didn't know the appropriate amount of people was. Plus I was too in awe of being asked to be the video girl to really be questioning things.

He told me that everyone in the room had to sign a NDA (non disclosure agreement) stating that they can't talk about the proposal until we talk about it. Plus most of the people that were there were his friends and most trusted associates.

"I could tell you weren't comfortable when I brought it up," he told me as we relaxed in the bathtub.

It had been a month since the proposal and in the time between then and the album deadline, Jay only got busier from there. We didn't get the time to relish in the glory of the proposal. But it's okay, because now the albums are out, the reaction from the public was positive, and Jay's work has slowed.

So here we were, lounging in the tub, my back against his chest, bubbles sitting on top of the water as he drew lazy circles on my forearm. I leaned my head back, laying it on his shoulder while staring up at him.

"I really wanted you in the music video, but I could tell that the idea really didn't... mmm... I don't know... you seemed more excited that I asked than to actually do it. But you put on a brave face just for me." He leaned down and kissed my cheek. "Thanks for indulging me."

"It's that I didn't want to..." I sighed. "I just start thinking about the damage being with me could do to your career and then I start spiraling down the rabbit hole-"

"Stop," he commanded. "Look at me Grace." He stared down into my eyes with this level of intensity that made me nervous. "I love you. I wanna spend the rest of my life with you... making you happy, making us happy... I couldn't give a flying fuck about what other people think. You couldn't damage a damn thing. So cut that shit out forreal."

My cheeks felt hot. "I try not to do it but I can't help myself. I always doubt myself and the fact that I'm well... you know..." I admitted, rubbing my index finger again my skin.

"What? Because you're black? What difference does it make?" He sounded genuinely confused. I could almost applaud him for his obliviousness.

"You're gonna get crucified the day our relationship gets released. And as much as I love you, you know I'm not wrong or else you'd've never paid dispatch so much. And while for the most part, it was for our relationship to stay private, we both know they charged you extra because dating a black girl is an exclusive they can't miss. I'm not offended or anything, but we gotta be realistic." Jay put his around arms around me in the water, his hands loosely holding me under my chest and my stomach, as if he was tryna pull me further into him.

"First, we hadn't been dating that long, so I paid whatever Dispatch wanted to keep people out my business. Let's start and stop there. Second... Have you ever seen me listen to what a hater say? ... Exactly." I laughed since he wouldn't let me answer. "I do what the fuck I want when the fuck I want. I'm a grown ass man. I'll choose being in love with you every day over wack ass comments."

"What if you lose your fans?"

"No real fan of mine would disrespect the love of my life like that, or me for that matter. My real fans would want me to be happy in whatever shape, form, or capacity that comes, but they know they don't control me. Any one that thinks they can is not really a fan of mine."