Believe Me ✔️

[29] Carter and Carson

Thunder roars above as I drive home. I park in the street and climb out of my car. It's time I confront Vanessa once and for all and figure out what her deal is. Are we friends? Are we strangers again? I tug the hood of my jacket over my head and stomp through puddles up to her door as rain pours down on me. I notice her parents' cars are in the driveway and I don't walk in like I usually would, and instead I knock and wait like a person who's not welcomed would. A shiver runs down my spine as I stand in the cold rain, impatient, and I'm surprised when Vanessa answers the door. I thought for sure I'd have to deal with her bitch of a mother.

"Addy?" She questions with wide eyes. "W-What are you doing here?"

"Are we still friends?" I ask bluntly, getting straight to the point. I can't take this inconsistency anymore.

She steps on the porch and closes the door behind her, peeking in through the window before saying, "What? Of course we are."

I nod at her window, asking, "In secret so your parents don't know?"

Vanessa laughs and fakes a smile. "Addy, you know how my parents are, but I don't care. You're my best friend."

"So why haven't you been mine lately?"

She raises an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

The rain feels like pebbles against my head. "Where were you when I had no one on my side? Where were you when people were writing horrible messages on my locker? Where were you when I was taking pregnancy tests alone?"

"Oh my God! Are you pregnant, Addy?"

"No!" I shout, shaking my head. "But that's not the point! I shouldn't have been taking them by myself! You were the first person I wanted to talk to and I couldn't reach you. You've been ignoring all my calls and texts. I had no one. I've been facing all of this alone." Something wet runs down my cheek and I'm not sure if it's a tear or a raindrop. "You're avoiding me and it fucking hurts."

Vanessa crosses her arms. "What do you want me to say, Addy?"

"I shouldn't have to tell you!"

She picks at her nails—her nervous habit—and sighs. "I just—I can't handle it when you—"

"When I what, Vanessa?" I cut in, angry that I know what she's going to say.

"When you put on this act. When you lie."

"Excuse me?"

She lifts her hand and gestures to me. "I hate when you get like this. That crave for attention so you do everything and anything to get it. You hurt as many people as you can in one blow and look, Addy, I'm sick of it."

"You know better than anyone that I've changed! Why are you being like this?"

"Because I'm sick of it! I'm tired of the web of lies you create to trap everyone. It's not a game. It's not funny anymore."

"I don't lie!"

Vanessa laughs and asks, "Really? What about Mr. Lionel?"

"I don't lie anymore."

Vanessa rolls her eyes. "You told me you changed, Addy, and I believed you, but you've done some really shitty things." She counts off on her fingers. "You lied and got Mr. Lionel fired. You burnt down that convenient store. You destroyed the church's nativity set! That was so expensive. My mom had to rebuild everything!"

Why does she have to throw my past in my face? "I apologized for that! I paid her back for everything! I spent time in juvie for those things, but you just seem to conveniently forget that. All throughout sophomore and junior year, I missed weeks of school, lost every weekend, every holiday, and I spent my sixteenth birthday there, too. It's not like I had a family to celebrate it with, though. We're fucked up! Isn't that what your mom said, Vanessa?"