Believe Me ✔️

[32] Demo CD

One Week Later

⚠️trigger warning: mention of suicide⚠️

Doctor Stoan and I stare at each other in awkward silence. This is our last session together before she goes on vacation next week. She won't be back for two months. I don't want a different therapist. I want Doctor Stoan. If I can't have her, I don't want therapy, but unfortunately that decision is not up to me. It's up to Doctor Stoan, and after this session she has to decide if I'll be okay on my own for a while.

"Are you still painting?" Doctor Stoan finally asks. She prefers small talk to indefinite silence, and my father's paying her, so she might as well do her job. "I remember from our last session, you mentioned that's something you've started up. I understand it's easy to lose motivation in your situation, but it's nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed of."

"Yes, I'm still painting, and I even replaced all my supplies. More brushes, canvases, and sketchbooks. I even got one of those aprons, so my clothes don't keep getting ruined." We share a laugh and I continue. "My Aunt Stella surprised me a few days ago with new paint from Paris! She went there on an art trip a few years ago and was saving the paint for something special."

"Ah, so everything's well with you and your family?"

I nod. "Yes. Well, my aunt, anyway. My father and I still don't talk as much."

"How about your eating habits?"

I knew that question was coming. I take in a deep breath and tell her the truth. "It's hard most days, but I try to eat at least once or twice a day. My brain is just used to it and I forget, sometimes. I'm starting to like my favorite foods again, though."

Doctor Stoan smiles. "That's excellent, Addy. Is anything else new in your life? This is our first session where you're smiling, and it hasn't faded."

Embarrassed, I duck my head and smack my cheeks to rid of the blush growing. I haven't stopped thinking about Douglas and our non-date and how I want to spend every waking second with him. "There's this guy..."

"Go on," Doctor Stoan says, matching my giddy excitement.

"His name is Douglas. I wouldn't exactly say he's my boyfriend yet. We're taking things slow and trying not to label anything right now." I take in a deep breath and hold my hands together to keep them from shaking. "I just don't want to make the same mistake again. After everything that happened with Logan, I just want to be careful. I need to be careful."

"Is Douglas okay with no labels?"

"Absolutely," I answer, grinning. "That's what's so sweet about him. He's patient and kind and doesn't mind waiting until I'm comfortable and ready."

She smiles. "He sounds like a keeper."

"He is..."

"Addy, as you know, I'll be leaving next week to go on my vacation," Doctor Stoan reminds me, and I groan with an eye roll. "I know you've said you didn't feel comfortable speaking with another therapist, and I'd like to respect your wishes. I will not force you to speak with someone else unless you want to, but please remember that I will be unreachable while I'm gone."

I wave her worry away and say, "Don't worry, Doctor Stoan. I have a few new anchors in my life now to keep me steady."

Doctor Stoan nods and smiles. "I'm glad you do, but if something happens and you desperately need to talk to someone, I'd like to recommend Doctor Sawyer. She's a brilliant colleague of mine and I believe she'd be able to meet your needs." She reaches across and hands me a tiny business card. "Just in case. So, we still have—" She checks the time. "—about ten minutes left. Is there anything you want to talk about or get off your chest today?"