Let It Be

Chapter 21

Surprisingly, in late January, the temperature warmed up for about a week, settling nicely in the seventies. Sam and I took advantage of this by spending a Sunday afternoon in the park, enjoying the fresh air.

After an hour of doing homework and talking about nothing of particular importance, Sam stood up abruptly. "I don't want to sit anymore," he said decidedly. "Let's go for a walk."

I groaned. "No... I'm tired!"

"Lazy bum," he accused.

"I am not! Volleyball sucked yesterday. I'm sore!"

"Walking will loosen you up."

I groaned again, but then thrust my hands out. Sam grabbed them and hauled me up. After walking a while, I informed him that I thought I had a scrimmage sometime the next week, so I'd have to stay later than normal for practice.

"When?" he asked.

"I'll check." I took out my phone and signed into my e-mail account and found the newest schedule Coach had sent out.

As I skimmed through it, I stepped completely into a shadow. I looked up and started to panic, the temperature dropping in the shade and my blood froze with fear. My bones turned to ice as I looked down the tunnel I had just stepped into, fear shaking my vision. Memories... images skirting through my mind...

I heard my voice whisper down to him. "Sam."

"Come on, Abby. Don't be a wimp," he teased without turning around, oblivious of my fear. He wanted to explore the tunnel under the road.

"Sam." My shaking voice echoed off the cement walls, despite the fact that I was whispering to avoid it. The time my cries had echoed back in my ears again and again, his growl of laughter at my fear, it all flooded into my mind. "I don't do tunnels."

The memories in my minds' eye flashed too fast, and my chest suddenly felt like someone was pressing on it. I started to hyperventilate. Deep, even breaths... I leaned over slightly, hugging my stomach in protection... Breathe, dang it, and stop thinking, stop remembering...

I turned and ran.

Sam realized that I was serious, and I heard his feet pounding on the dirt after me. He caught up quickly, and grabbed me from behind, just like he used to do it. I knew it was just Sam pulling me back, but I could only see his face sneering down at me.

I fought, something I knew better than to do, but I fought. Sam held tight, simply holding me to his chest in a fast embrace. I finally gave up and sobbed into him.

"Abby? Abby, what is the matter?"

"Don't let him touch me!" I half shrieked, half sobbed.

"Abby, there is no one around. What is wrong?"

I didn't respond. My mind was spinning with fear and memories. I thought I was past this, I thought I was okay. Then why this episode? Why couldn't I relax?

"Breathe, Abby. Take a deep breath."

Another sob escaped my chest. Sam rubbed my quaking back, desperately trying to comfort me. It didn't help, just brought more memories. His hands. What his hands would do.

"It is just me, Abby. Just Sam."

It took a while, a good couple of minutes, but the memories finally slowed. I slipped out of Sam's embrace, still shaking, and collapsed down on the ground. I put my face in my knees, waiting for the images to stop, the adrenaline to calm. He's not here. Nothing was going to happen. It was just Sam.