Let It Be

Chapter 39

I woke up still cuddled in Sam's arms. I adjusted about, and was surprised to see him awake. "You didn't sleep?"

"No, I did. How are you?"

"Still a little numb. But good. Good, Sam. Good."

"Thank goodness."

We heard the boys wrestling around in the bathroom, getting ready for the day. Birdie went to the kitchen and we could hear her pulling cereal and bowls from the small cupboards, and soon they would be getting ready for Nate's party.

Sam started to sit up. "I should go announce myself," he said.

I sat up as well. "I'll go with you."

I felt like jelly, numb and flimsy. I felt the serene emptiness that came after a good cry. My eyes were scratchy like sandpaper and they ached.

But I was okay.

My clothes were all twisted about and my comforter still had tear stains. I laughed. That must have been a lot tears. And probably a considerable amount of nose-drippings.

I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and laughed. "Oh, gosh." I looked so terrible.

"You are beautiful," Sam whispered, holding me low on my waist, face turned down to rest against mine. We stood there for a moment, just feeling all the emotion and energy surging between us. And then I pulled him to me and kissed him. A small one, but a kiss nonetheless. He rubbed my nose with his in thanks.

He followed me silently out to the kitchen, looking at the ground. Birdie stopped moving, a spoonful of Lucky Charms halfway to her mouth, her eyes wide and questioning when she saw Sam.

"I told him."

Birdie's lip trembled. She dropped the spoon, rushed over and wrapped me in a huge hug.

"I'm okay," I said into her hair, telling the absolute truth. "Surprisingly, I'm okay. Good, even."

Birdie looked over my shoulder at Sam. I don't know what he did to express himself, but Birdie returned her attention to me, not worrying about him.

"Last night," I explained. "I didn't want to be alone, so he stayed over. I showed him the sketchbook, too."

Birdie pulled back and looked at me in shock, knowing how protective of the sketches I was. I nodded. "He knows everything."

Birdie brushed my limp hair back off my face and kissed my forehead tenderly. "I'm so proud of you."

"As am I," Sam added.

I smiled and grabbed some bowls off the counter and plopped down at the table. Sam and Birdie followed me. I sighed long and slow. "I'm exhausted," I laughed.

Birdie petted my hair, tucking some stray locks behind my ear lovingly. It was nice to have a mother-figure in my life. "I bet you are."

Sam pushed cereal at me. "Eat, please. And don't you dare pull the I-can't-afford-it card. I'll pay Birdie for it."

Sounded good to me. "Okay."

He pulled out his wallet, which must have been kind of awkward to sleep on, and opened it quietly. He slipped the credit card with my name on it out again and held it to me. "Will you take this now?"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine."

He grinned. Already, things were starting to change. Things were getting better. It felt so good. The boys came into the kitchen, excited that Sam was there, and we all ate breakfast together, as a family. We were a family.

Sam and I stayed to help with Nate's party, which turned out to be a blast. The other kids had heard all about the awesome Sam, and they all sort of gaped at him when they met him. I laughed so hard, seeing how flustered it made Sam. He couldn't understand why in the world a dozen eight year olds-- not to mention Mason-- fawned all over him.

"Hey," I eventually had to tell the couple little girls there. "He's dating me, remember."

Sam smiled. "We're getting married," he added.

The girls frowned. I found some bizarre satisfaction in making eight-year-old-girls jealous. But then they remembered what a wedding was like, and they were all begging to be flower girls.

Once the party was over, Sam and I went for a walk.

Things felt good.

So, very good.

And I finally had the strength to say it, what I had longed to do for months now. After telling him everything the night before, after he accepted me even when he knew everything, I finally had the strength to say it. "Samuel Durand."

He turned to me, eyes wide, knowing what was going to actually finally going to happen for real. "Yes?"

"I accept you. You will be the only man I love from this day forward, for the rest of eternity. Which we will spend together. I accept you."

And everything changed.