eccedentesiast (poetry)

seventy-seven

i haven't touched this notebook
in so many months.
but your stupid brown eyes
make me want to write again.

your stupid dumb eyes makes me
want to write about how much i liked you
six weeks ago .

i wanted to write all over my notebooks
my first name with your last.
and i wanted to write, so badly,
that you made me so happy.
and we never even talked.
well, you talked to me once,
to give me my change
after i bought those stupid pretzels.
do you know i still saved
that five dollar bill you gave me?

you and your stupid brown eyes.
and your dumb hair that is so much better
than any other boys hair i've seen.
and your ridiculous bracelets
that i always wanted to learn the stories
behind why your wore them.

everything you do now makes me so
unbelievably mad. just because i know
some alleged other girl gets all these things.
she probably got all your sweatshirts
i daydreamed about having in my closet.

i hate you for making me like you.
i hate you for being my last high school crush.
i hate you for talking to that other girl.

i was so close, yet so far, from being yours.

and i like to tell myself i'm over you,
yet i still find myself craning my neck
to find your dumb red car
in the school's parking lot.
and i still leave seventh period as slow as i can
to catch you walking down the hallway.
but i'm totally over you. i moved on.

i'm totally over you and you're stupid brown eyes.

october 25, 2021
9:59 p.m.