Swollen Eyes

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"Autumn! Wakey, wakey no eggs and bakey." I open my eyes, wanting bacon. I'm disappointed by Casper's face. I groan, rolling over and covering my face with the comforter.

"It's your birfday!" He yells. I groan again. As if I need more reason not to get out of bed.

"You're going to school even if I have to drag you." He puts his hand under the covers and tickles my feet. I kick his arm away.

"Knock it off, Cas." I say, annoyed. No one messes with my sleep. No one. I don't care if you're the president, if you wake me up before ten o'clock, you have a grumpy cat on your hands.

"You haven't been at school for over two weeks. You're going." He grabs my ankle and drags me onto the floor. I grab the first thing in my reach and throw it at him. He runs out of the room before it can hit him. Or before I can.

I get up and get dressed slowly, hoping to draw out the time as much as I can. My plan fails when I see what time it is. Casper woke me up a full hour before school. I don't know about you, but I'm more a 'get ready in ten minutes' kind of girl.

I'm going to school today. Casper made sure of it. Stubborn douchebag.

"Autumn Jade Phillips!" Do I need to drag you down the stairs?" Casper yells up the stairs. I groan for what feels like the 50th time this morning and throw on a baggy sweatshirt, jeans, and my dirty old converse. As I make my way down the stairs, my nose is filled with the scent of my favorite breakfast. Waffles. I move a little bit faster and look at the beauty of a breakfast. There's berries and whipped cream with the waffles. Man, my dad knows me too well. And Casper is already digging in.

I sit down and take the tub of whipped cream. I eat it by the spponful. My dad takes it out of my hands. "That's not healthy." He fake-scolds me. Then he put his finger in and puts a huge scoop into his mouth.

"Hypocrite." I mumble, smiling at him. He smiles back and sets it back down on the table. I notice that the smile doesn't reach his eyes.

"I'm going to go start the car." Casper says through a mouth full of food. He leaves, leaving me and my dad in silence. I hesitate before getting up to hug him. His tears fall silently, making my shoulder wet.

"Be okay for today. For Jamie." He whispers to me. It's extremely hard to see my dad cry. Ever since Mary left, it's been hard to see him in any way sad. And now that Jamie's gone, it hurts him more. Jamie never got to be 17. He died a 16 year old. I don't know why I find that so sad.

"You too." I whisper, holding back tears. He sighs and lets go of me. I move towards the door. I can make it through today. I have Casper so it's not like I'll be alone in this.

"I love you, Autumn." He says when I put my hand on the door handle.

"I love you more." I say quietly before running out the door to meet Casper in his car. We drive in a comfortable silence all the way to school. Maybe I can make it through today. I sure as hell will try.

_______________________________________________________________________________

"I heard that she was the reason he did that to himself."

"I can't believe she can show herself."

"She cut herself over him?"

"Now she's even more of a freak."

I heard all of these things just walking to my first class. Choosing to ignore them, I put in my earplugs and turn up my music as high as it can go. Who needs eardrums?

I feel fine, surprisingly. Like I could very much so make it through the day without a single tear.

That changes when I see Jamie's locker. It's covered in pictures from the last two months and even some from before we moved here. There's little notes hanging on it. Along with little stuffed animals and other stuff sitting in front of it. It all hurts to see. All of these things come from people that didn't even know him, didn't love him.

I move over to his locker and start ripping it all away from the locker. I catch glimpses of some of the pictures. Some of them are from his Facebook, pictures of me and him, pictures of Mary holding us as babies. The tears start flowing, some angry, some scared, and most of them sad. I miss Jamie. I miss my brother, my best friend.

Someone touches my shoulder and I wip around, fully ready to yell. Mrs. Ralphs, my english teacher, stands in front of me. She rips off my earplugs in an attempt to talk to me. Her voice is barely audible over the sound of my sobs.

"C'mon you're going home." She whispers to me. She helps me up and walks me to the office. I sit down in the chair inside the room and listen to her explain to everyone why I'm in here. My tears slowly stop and I sit there in silent agony.

"Autumn, get your stuff, I'll call your dad." Mrs. Ralphs says to me. I hardly hear her, consumed in my own thoughts.

"Can I stay?" I whisper. She looks surprised and starts to question me but I stop her. "I've missed too much school." She nods and lets me go. I practically run out of the office.

And straight into Riley.

"Hey, what's wrong?" He asks.

"Nothing." I wipe away the stray tears.

"Where are you going?" He says, eyes filled with confusion.

"Back to class." I try to get around him but he stops me.

"We both know how much you don't want to." He says. His eyes melt my heart with his concern. I nod, agreeing with him.

"Let's go." He pulls on my arm.

"Where are we going?" I let him pull me. A mischevious grin paints his features. He holds open the door for me, leading outside.

"We're skipping." He smiles at me. The light makes a halo around his curly hair, making him look beautiful. It mesmerizes me.

I'm not relunctant to follow.

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