earthmix | oneshots

if only (t*)

summary: It should feel weird to want to kiss your best friend - Mix knows that, yet it doesn't. Not when it was Earth.

or in which mix feels so much and can't put it into words

—

Okay, yeah, it should feel weird to want to kiss your best friend - Mix knows that; it guilts him every moment he gets the urge to cup the said best friend's cheeks, rub his thumbs over the soft, tan skin of the older, and pull him into a long-desired kiss before repeating. It should feel weird, yet it doesn't. Not when it was Earth.

Earth was warm and caring, full of love and support. He was like home - safe and calm, who knew the ways of life with tons of experiences he didn't mind sharing with the younger. He was his best friend, his family, the person he called home, and so much more.

Earth made Mix feel content and happy, knowing he had the older to care for him; he made Mix's heart burst with absolute fondness, warmth, and love - so much so that Mix couldn't comprehend. He couldn't describe in words how much Earth meant to him, couldn't put the rush of butterflies in his stomach into coherent sentences when Earth asked if he had eaten, couldn't explain the content beat of his heart when the older was around him.

All Mix knew was he just really wanted to kiss him.

Mix wanted to hold the back of Earth's neck, fingers dug snugly into the older's hair as he gently pulled his head towards Mix, allowing their noses to touch as they looked at each other softly. They would hold the gaze for a good minute as Mix would appreciate every detail of his best friend's face, memorize every curve and dip of Earth's features. Then, Mix would gingerly lean in and their lips would touch tenderly as they savored the moment, the feeling, the touch before their mouths moved.

Mix would push in all of his feelings he couldn't say out loud into the kiss, hoping Earth would understand just how much Mix appreciated him, just how much he loved him. His lips would move with hot fury, desperate for Earth to understand his every emotion that he kept bottled in his brain and burned his heart. He would suck onto Earth's bottom lip next as his hands would slide down to the older's shoulders to squeeze, to bring him down to reality so he wouldn't pass their line of their friendship.

Then he would wake up from his fantasies, wishing he could bring out any sort of courage to actually bring his dreamed thoughts to life.

"If only," Mix muttered, blinking away his thoughts as his eyes refocused and settled on his phone. He read the last message Earth, the man he wanted to kiss oh so much, sent last before re-reading it some more. He was brimming with slight nervousness, body drumming with light excitement to see the older male (though they did see each other that morning).

Earth was waiting for him at home in Bangna with their kids - their lovely, adorable kitties. Mix couldn't wait to arrive, kiss every one of their furry heads and shower them in every ounce of love he has in his body (including the love he couldn't give to Earth).

Glancing to his window, Mix noticed the familiar streets of Earth's neighborhood as his taxi got closer to his destination. It made him anxious for the driver to hurry so he could be in the warmth of the place that he calls home. He looked back down to his phone, texting Earth that he will be there shortly. He waits a few seconds for the other male to respond, only getting an, "Okay" in return before shutting it off.

After a few following seconds, however, Mix gets another message from Earth. A simple, "get here safe" with a blue heart right beside it. Mix feels himself blush at the text, looking at his driver to see if he saw the younger smiling. Before he could talk himself out of it, Mix builds the courage to send a heart back with the reply, "I will."