𝐁𝐞𝐚𝐭 𝐎𝐟 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭

Part 1 ~ Awake

Michael's Point Of View ~ 

I begin to hear things. So many things that are all around me. I can hear the ring of phones, people talking, beeping sounds that I know belong to many machines. My brain doesn't wish to sleep anymore. It wants to wake up. 

It wants to be awake. 

I slowly open my eyes. The lights are so bright, feeling as if they will blind me. I feel someone on the right of me. I turn my head slowly towards the mystery individual that has a hold of my hand. My vision quite blurry at first. I can't seem to see them yet. Who is it? Who are they? I don't know. I wait but only for a few seconds before my eyes adjust. My sight now allowing me to see this person now. Oh my god. 

It's Ella. 

She is here. 

Ella is my girlfriend. We have been together now for five years. I love her deeply. She means the absolute world to me. I can't see her face but I know it's her. She has her head resting on the edge of the bed, next to my hand as she holds it. 

"Ella, I hope you're not crying . . " I say, my voice husky. Weak. 

I'm only teasing her. It's playful. I know she was beside herself with worry. My poor girl. Ugh, my voice sounds terrible. It's so husky. It feels as if I have completely lost my voice, only now just getting it back in bits and pieces. My throat is so dry too. Upon hearing my voice suddenly. Ella snaps her head up in a matter of seconds. Her eyes on nothing but me. It hurts me as I look at her face. Her eyes red, glassy paired with her cheeks . . puffy and tear stained. She breaks down again as she looks at me. 

"Oh Michael . . " She cries. 

She stands up from her chair before she leans down, her arms around me softly . . it's a very gentle hug. Her face is buried in my neck as she continues to sob. I get the strength to lift up my arms, putting them onto hers as they still are wrapped gently around me. My finger tips sit weakly upon her skin. My eyes not yet truly awake but they remain open. 

"I told you I would see you again . . " 

"I said I'll see you soon, Ella . . " 

I see her lift her head up from the corner of my eye. She looks at me for a few seconds before she gently kisses my cheek. I can feel the wet from her tears. I hate to see her cry, I hate seeing her so sad. Her hands rests where her lips where only seconds go. I giver her a weak smile. That is all I can manage right now. She follows my lead, making her smile also. That is better. That is what I wanted. 

"Michael. Oh Michael. You're awake! Oh my darling . . " 

Oh dear. Here we go. The fussing shall begin. It's mother. She means well but she doesn't need to fuss. That just isn't necessary at all. It is not needed. I see mother come to my left side this time. Her eyes glassy as well . . her face showing nothing but worry. 

"Michael, how are you feeling? . . " 

Mother asks me softly before she answers her own question as she looks at me. 

" . . sore and tired, dear yes . . " 

Mother says to me with soft eyes. I nod but it's very weak. Her hands are gently as well. It feels as if they all think I'm now this glass doll. Not wanting to touch me too hard, not wanting to bring me any harm . . in case I break. Mother was right. I just feel sore and a little bit tired which is expected but other than that . . I am fine. I feel fine. I feel great. 

"I'm going to get the doctor . . " 

Mother says as she rushes out the door suddenly. I sit up as I was previously laying down. Ella helps me, she adjusts my bed and rearranges my pillows. Ensuring I'm comfortable all throughout. Ella pours water into a cup. Both of these provided by the hospital. 

She hands me the cup. 

"Thank you, Ella . . " I say softly. 

Her finger tips on my cheek once again, brushing a strand of a curl away as I drink. It's water. Oh that's better. It's so lovely - cold and fresh. I look at Ella, she's looking me. She looks so scared. So scared that she is speechless. But I know everything she wishes to say to me. She leans into me once again, giving me a peck on my lips. We both look towards the door as mother walks back in the room with the doctor. 

"Ah. Michael you're awake. Welcome back . . " Dr Wells says cheerfully. 

He stands on my left side while mother and Ella stand on my right, holding hands with each other. They look happy. Tired but very happy. He looks down at his clip board, lifting up a few pieces of paper. He's now looking at my results I assume. 

"The operation was a success. Everything looks good. Just how it should look . . " 

Dr Wells informs me . . informs all of us, I should say. He continues, telling me I will be staying in hospital for a little while longer so I can be observed and monitored. I understand that. Mother and Ella both escort him to the door. Showering him with 'thank yous' and hugs. Ella comes back in and reclaims her seat by my bed, taking my hand once again. As I look at her, I see how her eyes sparkle. Her cheeks have lost the tear stain. Thank goodness. Mother returns as well. 

"Okay. I am going find out about getting you something to eat, Michael . . " 

Before I can get any words in, she walks out. Ella tells me she is going to call her parents to tell them the good news. I am now alone. A part of me feels as if none of this is real. It feels as if I am dreaming . . all of this. I look out of the window to my right. I can see the ray of the sun as it beams down, keeping us warm and how it never fails to rise each day without our asking. The sounds of birds as they chirp among each other. I have felt as in my life has been under threat, especially this last year. It has been so scary, emotional. I am just so happy to be here. Thankful. But it gets me really thinking all of a sudden and I can't shake this particular thought. It makes me think about her. What is she like? Where is she? I need to do something about it. I need to do this. I must find her, wherever she may be. It is something I know I have to do. 

I need to find her. 

to be continued.