On Our Block: Monse and Cesar s4

Chapter 6: Sorry

Monse's POV:
For the next couple of days I'm only with Jasmine and Jamal. Things are chill until Spooky got shot. We all tried to see Cesar but he doesn't wanna see us. He isn't at school or anywhere outside of his house. My last resort is knocking on his window. When I go over I sneak to the side of his house so Vero doesn't see me. "Hey." I smile when his blinds roll up. "Bitch, what the fuck are you-" I run before Vero can open the window. She won't tell him I was here but I need him to know I still care. I just go to school and try thinking about anything else. "I heard Vero caught you trying to get with lil Spooky." Jasmine walks up to me the second I park my car. "She caught me trying to talk to him. How'd you even hear about that?" I ask. "Chisme travels fast." She shrugs. "I just wanted to talk to him." We walk into the school and line up for the metal detectors. "Maybe it's better if you don't. He'll come to you when he's ready. Even if he doesn't, I'm sure he knows you were there." Jasmine tells me. We sit down in class but I just keep thinking about him.
My phone vibrates and I check it under my desk.
C: heard you came over
C: lmk when I can see
I'm about to text back when my phone gets snatched out of my hand. "No texting in my class." My teacher smiles and puts my phone on his desk. "Dick." I mumble and he turns around. "Excuse me?" He asks. "Nothing." I shrug. Cesar's gonna see that I read his text and think I'm ignoring him. I'm not gonna say it to his face but this teacher's a dick. I get my phone back at then end of class and I text him back right away.
M: yea vero caught me😬 tonight???
He doesn't respond. I'd give anything for a half assed text back. I spend all day staring at phone but eventually I just give up. "Nothing yet?" Brandy asks and I shake my head. "I'm just gonna focus on unpacking." I tell her. "Don't worry baby, Cesar's not going anywhere." She squeezes my shoulder. "I know, I just wish I could tell him I'm not going anywhere either." I smile and open another box. "You need any help?" Brandy asks. "I'm ok... thanks for this and everything else. My dad hasn't been this happy in a really long time." I say. "No problem, Monse. I know you aren't really thrilled about being back, but I'm happy you're home." She hugs me and it's crazy how much she feels like family. "Thanks for being my stepmom." I tell her before I let Brandy go. "Thanks for being like a daughter to me." She smiles and I can tell she's trying not to cry. Sometimes I wish I could talk to my real mom again. She was a colorist ass hole, but I still don't get her. I look down at Julia's script and as much as I want to throw it away, I don't. When I pick it up and start flipping through the pages I see Cesar in the corner of my eye. "What are you doing here?" I open my window. "Wanna go for a walk?" He asks and I nod. It's been our thing since our first date and I'll never get tired of it. "Always." I climb out my window. "Sorry I didn't text you back. I tried, but when I got Oscar's ashes all I could do was cry." Cesar hates looking weak, now I get why he was hiding out. "His girlfriend gave them to you?" I ask and he nod. "Yeah." He looks down and I squeeze his hand. "Spooky would've wanted to be with you." I say. "Vero got me a chain that I could put his ashes in, but I'm spreading the rest. Somewhere he loves... loved." He explains. "So what are you gonna do?" I ask. "I don't know. How do I honor Oscar's life in the right way by dumping his ashes somewhere?" He asks but I've never been good at this kind of thing. "I shouldn't be the one to do this. I'm gonna mess it up." He looks down. "Now you're not. Just have to trust yourself." I tell Cesar. "Well, I don't." He says and my heart drops. I look at him and I can't tell if Cesar's frustrated or sad. "I can't stop thinking about all the mistakes I've made. All the people I put at risk." He says and I stop walking. "You know what happened with Oscar wasn't your fault." I remind him. "I'm not just talking about Oscar. I loved you so much that I never thought I'd ever put you in danger, and I did... I never meant to hurt you." Seeing how hurt he is now makes me regret not forgiving him sooner. "I'm so sorry, Monse." He sounds sincere. "I am too." I should've heard him out. I didn't get that he was still Cesar. I smile and he takes a deep breath. "I still haven't forgiven myself for losing you." He crosses his arms. "You didn't lose me." I remind him and Cesar looks confused.
"We're burned into each other's DNA." I quote him. The way he's looking at me, I know what he's thinking. A second later, Cesar kisses me.
Cesar's POV:
"We're burned into each other's DNA." Monse smiles. I don't even think, hearing her say that just makes me kiss her. Monse kisses me back and we walk towards my house without stopping. We get to my front door and it's locked. "The one time you had to lock it." Monse says while I press her against the door. I kiss her and then look for my keys. I try to unlock it, but this girl is hella distracting. She kisses my jawline and my neck so I can't even think about anything else. I finally get it open and she grabs my flannel and pulls me in again. We don't break the kiss while we walk to my room so we run into everything on the way. We get to my room door and I can barely get it open 'cause she won't let me go... not that I ever want that again. She pulls off her jacket and I throw my flannel on the ground. We're both breathing hella heavy but some how she can even make that sexy. "Stupid fucking shirt." Monse mumbles while we both struggle to pull mine off and I laugh under my breath. The few seconds it took felt like minutes so now I have to pull her even closer to me. I lift her up and throw her on my bed. I'm between Monse's legs and she wraps them around me. I kiss her neck and then pull off her shirt. "You sure about this?" She asks and I kiss her jawline back down the middle of her neck. "I been missing this for way too long, trust me I'm sure." I say against her neck before I kiss her again. Monse pulls on my belt, but she doesn't break the kiss. It doesn't take long for everything else to come off.