Eyes Open [ c.l. ]

↦ chapter five | piano

Chapter five -

CHARLES

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As soon as I turn the corner, I saunter straight to the room where the meeting will be held later. I have never previously been there, however, I did walk past or by the room a number of times, as well as seeing the obnoxiously conspicuous posters and signs that scattered the corridors leading hustling you into the direction of the therapy ward.

At first I felt relieved that I brushed off my mother with this excuse, but at the moment I can only feel frustrated that I'm stuck with it now. Now I have to participate. Nuria will most likely check that I indeed attended, and when she inevitably does, I guess it will make her pleasantly happy.

Would my mother notice if I don't go? Would she walk past this room and observe the room, in order to meddle with my life and check on me? I'd rather not see her now, arguing doesn't sound like a pleasant option to me at the moment. So, I open the door and head inside.

Upon first arrival, I immediately take notice of how homely the room is furnished. A pleasant atmosphere has clearly been created so that patients feel safe and secure. But maybe it just feels that way to me, because my eyes fall on the beautiful piano.

Since childhood, I have always been interested in the musical instrument. The piano brought me a unique feeling of joy that not many other things could. Being alone in this room tempts me to walk to the piano and run my fingers over the keys, creating a harmonic symphony.

As my mind begins to trail back to the reasoning as to why I am here, my heart begins to beat faster, and a warm feeling spreads throughout my body. I'm not yet ready to stand up to my mother, but I do know that I want to take up the instrument again. I look around the room to check once again if there's anyone present in the room, and when I feel the lonely presence of being on my own, I sit on the piano stool. I try to warm myself up before I start playing the song that first comes to mind.

'One day my father, he told me "Son, don't let it slip away" He took me in his arms, I heard him say "When you get older, your wild heart will live for younger days, think of me if ever you're afraid".' There was no particular reason as to why I chose this song, it just came to mind.

I presume it's because of my father. He was my role model. He guided me when I was lost. He understood me, he saw me for me. I miss him. I miss him so, so much.

That's why the lyrics cascade out my mouth so easily. Because this song was for him. The acoustic piano interpretation of this song was beautiful, the lyrics were slowed and the notes easily and smoothly flowed between one another.

"He said: 'One day you'll leave this world behind, so live a life you will remember' My father told me when I was just a child 'These are the nights that never die' My father told me,' I sing. I feel myself completely being taken over by the music and there's nothing else surrounding me anymore. No more stress, no more pressure. Just music.

I continue to keep playing and singing and feel the joy run through the veins in my body. "'These are the nights that never die'. My father told me".

I finish the song and let the last notes echo through the room, and my mind. I grasp onto the warm feeling and can do nothing but smile. I notice that during the song, I closed my eyes. When I open them again, I smile at the piano for a moment. Then, my gaze falls on something else.