Eyes Open [ c.l. ]

↦ chapter six | shredder

Chapter six -

CHARLES

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          I keep looking at the group making it easy for themselves. Some patients are even going as far as covering themselves in blankets. "Welcome everyone," Dr Chan repeats his announcement once again as everyone arrives. "Good that you're here. You should all have kept a diary for two days, describing how you feel." Ellie emits something that resembles some kind of laugh, but I can tell she is trying her best to hold it back. Her laughter causes me to suppress a grin and keep looking at the group. "I want you all to feel free to say what you want," Dr Chan continues. "This is a safe space."

          "Oh please." I mumble softly as I begin to read the first question with a shake of my head. I can see Ellie bowing her head, with a grin on her face, I can tell she is trying to contain her amusement, and stifle her laughter.

          "You'll work in pairs first, before I'll ask if anyone would like to share something." Dr Chan continued. I scan the room and take a look at the group, but quickly switch off when they start talking to one another. When I regain my attention to the form, I see Ellie reluctantly rise from her chair, with what sounded an exasperated sigh.

               "You don't have to go," I desperately exclaim. The truth is, she is one of the reasons I am here. Without her in this room, I would be beyond bored. She met my eye contact as if to find out if she really heard some kind of plea in my voice. I know I must have sounded pathetic and weak. "I'm sorry," I mumbles, "I'll shut up from now on."

          "Please don't," she mumbles rather quickly, "your reaction is the only thing that makes it doable here." I look at her quizzically. If she doesn't mind my constant witty and rather pessimistic remarks, then why is she getting up to walk away?

          Why do I care? Why should I care about whether she is there or not? I could easily attempt to make new friends, and obtain new company, however there was something that drew me to her, and something that makes me have an unfounded appreciation for her presence. But why?

          "I didn't get a pen." I hear her mumble under her breath as she holds up her unoccupied hands.

          "Oh." Is all my mouth will allow me to reply, too busy draining all the blood from my body to circulate it towards my cheeks. However when I finally regained my composure, I added, "We can work together," making sure he would like to stay, here with me. "I mean, she wanted us all to work together, we can share my pen."

          My eyes follow her movements as she proceeds to plop back onto the chair, sitting crossed legged, and pick up her form again. "It will also take a lot longer to finish." She anticipatedly says, "so we don't have to talk with them as long." Ellie nods, but I can see that she's only now considering that factor.

          "On a scale of one to ten," I murmur as I read the first question on the form, "how happy are you feeling today?" This is such a stereotypical question, and that only caused me to roll my eyes in reaction.

          "In general today, or just now?" She asks. I assume the staff changes the content on the forms each time, as Ellie seems to have not heard these questions before.

          She shocked me by saying that, as I don't think its all that important, so I shrug and give her a questioning look. I seem to be doing a lot of that today, she is just a mysterious person. 'Does that matter?'

          "Yes," she abruptly replies. "Generally speaking today, then.." I could see her train of thought dashing around the tracks one hundred miles an hour, as she circles the end of her pen around the three and four numbers. I wonder why she is feeling so down today, Dr Chan did mention something... "But when we talk about your reaction to this torment, it's definitely a seven or eight." Her lips begin to familiarly itch upwards into her exasperating yet captivating grin.