I NEVER LIKED HER

part 10

Time skip (Jungkook’s pov)
             Today was supposed to be a normal day as always as it had been for me for the past 3 months. Yes.. it’s been 3 months since y/n discharged from the hospital, but life has been too crucial for me. Talking is far away but she didn’t even spare a glance at me for these many days. But I too wanted to give her the space which she wants but I can’t stop that lingering pain inside my heart. I miss her presence in my life too much. But today the most unexpected person texted me.. y/n… just one sentence “ we need to talk..meet me at rooftop” just made my heart jump out of my cage. As today is my graduation day, I already planned to wait for y/n to finish her schooling as she is just one year junior to me so that I can also join the same University in which she is going to study. By this plan I can also stay close to my y/n and put the all efforts I could to make her trust me back.
            As I reached the rooftop, soon saw a small figure which my heart craves to see each and every second. She is standing at the edge of the rooftop, the same place where she first attempted to kill herself, Thinking about that day itself sends a shiver down my spine. I really feel nervous at this moment but I can’t miss this chance to have her close after this long. Slowly I took my steps towards her, heaving a deep breath I was about to call her but she spoke “ You’re here” and turned towards me. My heart started to beat at a faster rate when my eyes landed on her. She looks weak yet she looks beautiful. Staring her for few minutes, I cleared my throat and spoke “y/n…ho-how are you” cursing to myself for stuttering. “Fine I guess.. what about you jungkook” my heart skipped few beats after my name slipped from her mouth like a caramel. I Missed that. “I can’t lie.. not that good without you in my life y/n” I can see that her eyes softened after I spoke.
       “ By the way congratulations on your graduation, I hope you have a great future ahead” she spoke with so much emotions in her eyes. I really want to hug her and cry my eyes out at this moment “Without you I can’t imagine my future y/n, I know I’m a jerk to do such horrible thing to you, still I feel the guilt eating me out but losing my friend left me numb y/n. Minjae was like a soul to me, loosing him was like the most horrific moment for me but my fault was I didn’t read his another letter which told the real reason was me who is behind this and even didn’t tried to find about it. At that night, I just wanted to comfort you even knowing that you’re a stranger. You looked soo fragile that unknowingly broke my heart that’s why I came to you. But fate really played a game because of which our lives total took a turn and I became the reason behind his death. I still feel so much broken y/n…but ple-please give another chance to make it up for my mistakes, I can’t take this pain anymore, Please..” I couldn’t continue more as it was too hard to speak as my tears kept falling, I fell on my knees and covered my face with my palms while sobbing hard.
          I can here sniffling sounds from her, I can say she is trying so hard not to break down at this moment, suddenly she came closer, crouched in front of me and by removing my palms she held my face, took me into surprise, slowly she wiped my tears with her thumb,“ You are not the reason behind his death jungkook even I felt so terrible after hearing it from yoongi. Don’t put all the blame towards you,stop being so hard on yourself. Even I rejected him harshly because of my own problems. So don’t feel terrible for it, as you said it was fate. But..”
           she paused for a moment and spoke “I can’t forgive you jungkook…I thought about this a lot now, It’s not easy for me. you know after seeing you, I really felt that you are the one. That angel who I got whom I have dreamt for long, who will change my darkness into light and that person who will change my loneliness into happiness. I was on ninth cloud when ever you’re beside me, I felt complete. That’s when I too decided to give myself to you. I-I wanted you for the rest of my life but I guess..this is the reality. I’m hurt not because you used me jungkook, but after being with me for so many days, you didn’t even have a slightest trust in me, you didn’t even think that how I can be such a cheap person. That’s the thing I’m damn hurt, it definitely left a big scare in my heart. Fate did really Played a lot. So yeah, I’m leaving jungkook…I am going to continue my studies in states” that’s when my head shot up, eyes widened.. Is she really going to leave me? Forever? I can’t leave her just like that, just 3 months without talking to her itself was a hell for me. “ Y/n.. please.. please don’t leave me baby… you can punish me, beat me even don’t talk to me for another few months but please don’t-don’t leave me. I’m literally nothing without you. I know I deserve more punishment for me being an as*le but this is too much for me handle…please y/n…” I hugged her tightly fearing she will leave me. My heart can’t take this. She gentle patted my back in soothing way in attempt to calm me down but I can’t control my sobs after what she said. I thought I will continue my studies with her and will convince her to trust my love. But little did I know that those thoughts were just going to be my dreams which is going to be shattered.
        After few minutes, I was still in her arms, how I wish this moment to last for my whole life. Slowly she pulled away from my hug and cupped my face, I can see the tears in her eyes.  It was indeed hard time for her too “ Jungkook…I can’t stay in this relationship which doesn’t have trust. I know it’s hard for you but believe me, it’s a hell for me too but I have to heal myself and should prioritize before anything jungkook. I can’t loose myself in this situation and being with you now is not at all a good decision. I definitely need this time for myself. Don’t wait for me to come back, I don’t know whether I will come back or not… move on in your life, be successful as you dreamt off. I’m leaving for our good.. please understand” I don’t know what to say now as she needs time to heal and I should give her. But I will wait for her even if it takes for my whole life..I will.. “Can-can I kiss you for one last time…. Please y/n…” I spoke looking directly into her eyes which holds soo much love and affection. She gave a small smile and slowly took my lips with hers with so much feelings and emotions going inside us. I can feel my cheeks being wet as we both were in tears sharing our love in this kiss. Out of breath she slowly pulled away with forehead connected with mine , she looked into my eyes while slowly caressing my cheeks “ I love you jungkook…will always do”