BEE🐝 Sugar Baby

3

This is officially my fourth week in New York, and I'm getting used to being here.

Wearing hijab is a norm in Indonesia but here in New York, especially in my office, I'm like a rare species simply because I'm the only one who wears it.

I've received multiple questions from my colleague that sometimes I wonder if they ask because they genuinely don't know about it or simply to mock me.  Do you sleep with it, do you shower with it, and the one that got me extremely speechless was, do you actually have hair?

I try to be positive and answer them with a smile eventhough sometimes I do wanna be spiteful and throw that Of course I shower with it, I use Hijab and Shoulder. But no, compose yourself Alya. Show them that Islam is beautiful, not condescending.

"Oh wow," I hear a gasp next to me, "You look so much better without that thing!"

I turn to her as I put another one of my friendly face, "Thank you." Is all I said then I get back to putting on my hijab. Sometimes this chiffon shawl I'm using is quite slippery that it moves hence the need to fix it at the restroom.

"Such a shame you've gotta cover up," she makes that sad puppy eyes with the pouty mouth, showing a sympathy to me.

"It's okay, I'm happy to do it." That's what I've been telling myself since I last taken my hijab off.

Two weeks ago I left Cupcake headquarter with the determination of never stepping my foot there ever again. What was proposed is an insult to me as a woman, downgrading us as if we'd do anything for money.

Fifty thousands a week is a lot of money, but I'm willing to say no to that if it means keeping my integrity intact.

Miss Collins called me three days after our meeting to which I gave a no as my answer. She accepted it and thanked me for coming to her office, but at the same time reminding me of the NDA.

I continue living my life the way I've been, though at times I do imagine what's it gonna be like if I'm indeed married to a man.

I'm twenty nine this year, obviously still single with no prospect of getting married soon. After the Arab boyfriend, I did get into two relationships afterwards but all failed because I don't think they measure up to my standard.

My grandmother told me countless of times to never be pressured with the fact I'm getting older, or that my younger brother is already married with a baby on the way. It's better to get married later with your soulmate who checks all your list than to settle with just anyone and get divorced two years later.

Thankfully my parents have an open mind regarding this, mainly because of what happened with the Arab guy is a big lesson learn to all of us. They'd rather I'm single but happy than to lose myself in the name of being a wife.

Most of my friends are married with kids and I can't help but to wonder, how does it feel to be one?

But then again, what my Grandmother said really makes me think twice that I'm a bit scared to dip my feet into that realm. What if it doesn't work out and I end up getting divorced after a year? What will happen if I'm already with child? It's a scary thought so I'd always stop and forget altogether about getting married.

I Googled about Mr Gunn right after I came home, to know what is it that he does for a living since he pays such a large sum of money to the sugar babies who pretend to be his wife.