Trying Your Luck - Bucky BarnesxOC

Part 15: Savior

Bucky never used to worry. Not really. Steve was the worrier - worried about girls, about not getting his ass kicked, school, grades, his mother, everything. Not much used to bother Bucky, even after his parents passed away. He took care of his sister, the house - he took care of everything without a second thought. Now, all his brain does is spin out like the wheels on an out-of-control car. Bucky finds routine somewhat calming. He has lunch with Yori and eats the same thing every week at Izzy's. Usually, lunch makes him feel better, but not today. Today, he feels heavy. He's quiet. His mind replays Dr. Raynor's third rule and her idea for making amends. He had always planned to, but it was more of a long-term goal that he didn't have to think about immediately. He's simultaneously avoiding it and anxious to start. What a weird place to sit in, he thinks as he orders another beer.

Yori reads him the obituaries like he does every week, but Bucky can't seem to focus for longer than a few minutes at a time. His mind feels hazy, clouded by too many things at once. Is this what it means to have his mind back? Just a constant barrage of thoughts pummelling him until he wants to punch something? Yori looks over at him.

"You look annoyed."

"I always look annoyed," Bucky replies.

Sam is right. Bucky hates to admit it, but he is. His face naturally settles into that dead-eyed stare he used to do under HYDRA's control. It's become a reflex. Yori laughs. It makes Bucky crack a small smile.

"Okay, how about we talk about something good?" Yori asks.

Bucky sips his beer.

"All right."

"Tell me about that pretty girl you're seeing."

Bucky sighs and Yori punches him in the arm.

"Oh, don't make it sound so exhausting."

"It's not, it's just everyone wants to know about her."

"Because they care about you and want to see you happy. When was the last time you had a girlfriend?"

"80 years... give or take."

"That's a long time to be alone, James."

"I know."

Yori gestures for him to keep talking.

"So what's she like?"

Bucky sighs.

"She's uh... she's great."

"You can do better than that," Yori replies. "I saw the way you were looking at her the other night."

"Okay, okay. She's amazing. Is that a better descriptor?"

"It's more complimentary, yeah."

Bucky fiddles with his napkin, tearing it into tiny pieces.

"She makes me feel good. I haven't felt good in a long time. She understands me."

Yori smiles and puts his hand on Bucky's metal one. Bucky's whole body tenses.

"Love looks good on you, Bucky."

Bucky rolls his eyes and shakes his head.

"It's not love."

"Not yet."

"Anyone tell you you're a pain in the ass, Yori?"

"All the time," Yori chuckles.

"You'd get along well with my friend Sam," he mumbles, sipping his beer.

Yori and Bucky part ways and he finds himself bored, not wanting to go back to his apartment. He pulls his Tinder phone out of his pocket and messages Shannon.