How can I forget? | BILLIE EILISH

𝒯𝓌𝑜.

A/N- Not all chapters are going to be day-to-day, this one is a continuation just from Jess's pov, and you'll kinda just know when it actually is the next day or a continuation.

Jess's Pov-

"You ready, baby? We get to see puppies and Claudia and Finney!" I exclaimed excitedly, unbuckling her from her car seat.

"Yeah!" Adelaide shouted. 

It had been a crazy two years. Between gaining custody of my stepsister and then dealing with having no help from anyone, it was insane. And then running into Billie all of the sudden stirred things up even more, but I missed her, I will admit. Apparently, Addy did too.

I slung Adelaide onto my hip and proceeded to walk to the front door. Before I could even make it up the stairs, Claudia approached us with her usual stunning self.

"Hi angels!" Claudia greeted, throwing her arms open. At the sight of Claudia, Adelaide clung to my chest, scared of her. It had been a while since she had seen everyone so I guess she just didn't understand who it was. She was okay with Billie and knew who she was, but I figured it was because she had established more of a friendship over facetime with Billie, and had only met Claudia and Finneas once.

"Addy, baby, you've met Claudia before, it's just mama's friend," I said, trying to comfort the scared child in my arms. 

"Mama?" Claudia questioned, lifting an eyebrow.

"Oh, yeah, Billie didn't tell you? I gained custody of her about a year ago, due to the living situation she was put in. I couldn't send her into the system so now she's all mine!"

I was a proud mom, or guardian, whatever I was to her. I loved Adelaide and it was so strange at first. I mean, I felt more like her parent when we were living in New York anyways, so it wasn't this huge change. Due to the drugs, Lainey's second child didn't make it. It was tragic because we all knew how happy she was, before drugs, but it was probably for the best. Morbid I know, but there was no way it could've lived a good life.

"Oh my God, are you doing okay with the whole 'mom' thing?" Claudia asked, sounding greatly concerned. I entered the house and chuckled. Why did everyone think her being my 'kid' was such a crazy thing? 

I sat Addy down and followed Claudia into the living room, where we could finish our conversation.

"I mean yeah, she's an angel, but there's so much stress that comes with it. I have to stay strong for her, of course, so it does eventually take a toll on me. I'm still happy with her, I wouldn't want it any other way honestly." I explained.

"Look, mama," Claudia winked, "You know you don't have to be strong for her all the time? It's okay to show her that you cry sometimes and show her that you feel stuff too," 

"I know, it's still strange sometimes. Dad and Lainey don't want anything to do with us since we're down here now, so I've been on my own." 

Claudia frowned at my statement. "I'm sorry Jessie,"

"Clauds, don't be! We're both doing great here, I'm glad that I get to raise her in my hometown and around the same things I did, accept her 'mom' is gonna be completely different than mine!" I joked. 

Then a pretty blonde girl walked through a door that led to the downstairs area. She smiled at all of us when Adelaide bolted up and ran to her.

Billie bent down and scooped Addy up into her arms. "Hi, sweet girl," 

Adelaide was in awe as Billie lifted her up. Billie was so good with her, and I loved it. I missed seeing Billie so happy when she was with me or when she was laughing. It felt good to be near her.

Billie showered Addy in kisses and tickled her non-stop, making Adelaide burst into laughter. 

"I bet you're a proud mama, she's the cutest," Billie stated.

"I am. It feels almost surreal to say that one, I'm basically a mom, more her guardian, and two, I'm her mom." I stated, collapsing on the couch, much like I did before I left. 

Finneas and Claudia's house brought back so many memories. Good ones, none were bad. The only negative thing that I could think of was being so close to Billie, but not feeling the connection that was once so strong. Maybe being back in L.A. would help me feel it again because I strived to, but I doubted it.

Eventually, Claudia, Finneas, Billie, and I were all outside watching Adelaide play with Shark, Billie's new dog, and Peaches, that was Finneas and Claudia's dog.  Addy would waddle around them while they just lay there, waiting for her love. 

"You should stay for dinner!" Claudia suggested, "I think us three were going to try to make this new recipe I found. Ooh, and we could have a movie night or something! It's fully up to you though,"

I sighed, knowing I had to decline her kind offer. "I would love to, but Addy has school and I have work. Can we try another time?" 

"Of course, Jess. You gotta be like a mom now, so I fully respect that!" Claudia said sweetly. I loved her. She was the best and most kind-hearted human that walked this earth. I hopped out of my chair and walked inside, needing a drink of some sort.

Billie followed me in, leaving it be us two alone. I needed to be with her alone.

"Hi," She spoke softly, her head tilted slightly as she leaned on the counter. Her voice flew over my body, giving me chills. 

"Hey," I responded. Her cheeks flushed red suddenly. She looked so pretty. Her blond hair hung slightly in her face, but not enough to cover her beautiful blue eyes. I think that was the connection I needed. I just needed to see her again, and then I was immediately attached to her being. 

"I missed this," she admitted, pointing her finger back and forth from me to her. 

"Me too, we haven't actually been this alone since- Well, y'know," I stammered, not wanting to bring up the rough memories.

"I don't like how the situation ended, I've never been okay with my weak ass not fighting for you," 

"Billie, you don't need to worry yourself with not fighting for me, because I wouldn't let you," I began, "I think we both needed it though, I mean look at us! You're hot as fuck and you're at your fucking peak in success, and me, I'm a full-time caregiver to this kid!"

Billie laughed and nodded her head. Ugh. Billie's laugh drives me crazy. 

"You aren't too bad yourself babe,"

"We gotta keep in touch okay? I think imma need a little bit more of you in my life, Billie." I stated matter-of-factly. 

"I'm all yours J, always,"

Just like that bro. 

Just. Like. That.