Beyond Her Eyes

Chapter Fourteen

YN sat on the couch in the main room the next morning, her hands swallowed in her sleeves and her socked feet curled underneath her. She stared blankly at the T.V. as it played scenes from the alien attack a few weeks prior, as well as an update on the reconstruction of the city.

YN groaned, biting her lip as she closed her eyes, leaning her head on her bent knees. She took a deep breath, standing up and walking to a mirror on the wall nearby. She had avoided looking at herself ever since she had returned home from the hospital, the sight making her nauseous.

She stood in front of the large mirror, eyes closing and hands gripping the edge of her sleeves. YN put her hand out, stepping closer until the tips of her fingers met the cool glass. Taking another calming breath, YN opened her eyes, biting her lip as her one seeing eye took in her appearance.

The bruising surrounding both eyes had practically dissipated, the right side of her face returned completely back to how it was prior. She could see remnants of the scarring from her incident in her teen years but they were mostly faded. The left side, as she casted her eye over it, was terrifying. The edges were scarred, the red still vastly contrasting against her skin. Her pupil and iris were swallowed in white, so much that now YN couldn't sypher her iris from her sclera.

YN clenched her teeth, raising her hand to the mirror and ghosting her hand over her reflection. She brought her hand back to her face, touching her eye and feeling her lip wobble. Tears slipped down her cheeks as she covered the white eye with her hand, completely shielding it from her view.

YN choked out a sob as she stared back at the reflection of what she looked like prior to Loki, prior to the invasion.

"YN?" YN sniffed, wiping her cheeks and trying to compose herself quickly. She spun around, facing a sad looking Steve. "Are you okay?"

YN chuckled dryly, no humor detectable in the action. "I'm fine."

"YN, please. You can talk to me." YN bit back a scoff, sitting on the couch and picking up her shoes that she'd discarded earlier.

"I don't think I can, Steve." She whispered, grunting as she tried to pull on her shoe. "God." She spat, still struggling with it. Finally, she cursed loudly, slamming her foot down with a cry. "Fuck this. Fuck everything." She wailed grabbing the shoe and throwing it toward the mirror, smashing it to pieces. YN cursed again, placing her hands on her face.

Steve's eyes widened, standing up from where he was leaning against the doorframe and rushing toward the crying woman. "Hey, hey. Calm down. What's wrong?"

"What's wrong? Do you really need to ask me that?" YN sobbed, pushing Steve's hands away as they tried to console her. "I- I look like a freak, I've lost my sight in one eye, I can't control my power." YN listed, sobbing into her hands. "And- and now... Now I have to go back into-" YN hiccupped, swallowing down a thick sob. "Go back into one of those damn places where I-" YN cried out painfully, holding onto her chest. "Please, don't make me go back in there, Steve." YN screamed, making Steve jump in fright.

"YN, please. Calm down. Listen to my breathing." YN ignored Steve, curling into herself and sobbing harder and faster. "YN, sweetheart?"

"Captain Rogers, it would appear Miss. Gray is experiencing a anxiety attack; would you like me to contact Mr. Stark?" Steve bit his lip, casting his eyes over YN.

"Uh, has he dealt with one of these before?" Steve asked, leaning over to hover his hands over YN's back as she continued to cry out.

"Yes, sir." Steve nodded, confirming to the A.I. that he needed Stark's presence. "He is five minutes from the tower, he has asked you to grab a cool towel and place it at the base of Miss. Gray's neck." Steve nodded rapidly, jumping to his feet and running to the closest bathroom. When he returned, YN had slipped onto the ground, curling up in a ball and was rocking herself back and forth, sobbing harshly.