Her heart in her hands

Chapter 9 (edited)

Mia POV

I'm sitting quietly on the edge of papa's bed as he cleans up the cuts from my hands. I was so lost in thought I didn't even know he was done.

Suddenly he's crouches in front of me with a frown. He moves a piece of hair behind my ear "what's seems to be on your mind love?"

I hesitate for a moment, I want to tell them. I want to tell him. I know I need to tell someone. But what will they think? What will he think?

For the longest time I've craved the affection and acceptance of a parental figure. But at a young age I came to realize that I may never get it so I closed myself off.

But that was all I wanted, love and protection.

When I meet Justine and Alex it was hard to open up to them, but when I did. I felt a weight lift from me.

Sitting in front of my father, the man I want acceptance from, more than anyone. I feel protected and loved. Even from the small amount of time that I've been reunited with him, this silent bond has been created, or recreated. But in a way it feels as if it was always there.

———

Ricardo POV

I stay silently crouches in front of her, the expression on her face show as if she seems to be in deep thought.

Gently I bring my hand up and brush the back of my hand on her forehead and down her cheek, I grab her chin gently so she's looking at me.

She smiles lightly as she makes eye contact with me. I study her for a second "you didn't answer my question sweetheart, what's seems to be on your mind?"

She seems to hesitate again before whispering, "I want to tell you but I don't know how."

As I continue to hold her chin as i grab her trembling hands with my other hand. She seems as if she wants to say something so I wait patiently for her to speak.

When she does speak I stay there watching and listening, "after mom took me she changed. She would go out and be gone for hours. She would come back at 3 or 4 in the morning drunk and high. I was 9 when she had hit me for the first time. I fell back into a glass coffee table and got a big scar on the left shoulder. When I was 10 she met Martin, he was also an alcoholic." She pauses, "he would hit and push me around. It wasn't every day, but whenever he needed to release he anger."

The rage that ripples through me was unimaginable. My vice grip on her hands tighten. My baby girl went through that, and I couldn't protect her. She took a shaky breath, I keep my emotions in check for her sake.

As she continued I still listened quietly, "one night he came into my room more drunk than usual. He dragged me into his room and forced himself on top of me." She paused again as her voice cracked.

The anger and rage I was feeling intensified. But underneath I felt respect, pride and protectiveness. Respect because because she went through hell and still managed to come out smiling. And pride because she never gave up, she keep fighting. That in its self makes her one of the strongest people I know. And she doesn't see that. But as a father it's something you never want to hear come from your child.

Protectiveness because she is and always will be my daughter.

I continue to listening quietly, "I ended up running that night. The one thing that was my choice to give away was taken from me." I wiped the tears away as they ran down her face.

Another feeling the surfaced was guilt, I couldn't protect her. As a father it hurts that hear your kid went through that. And knowing that there was nothing you could've done to prevent it.

"I ran, I ended up running into Justine. She brought me back to her place, I meet Alex. She patched me up and gave me something to eat and a bed to sleep in. I slowly started to open up to them. They keep me together when I was falling apart. Alex taught me how to defend myself. He was my boxing coach."

I remember briefly seeing Justine and Alex, the waves of respect that washed over me for them was unimaginable. "Justine taught me how to tattoo, I was really good at it and when I was 16 she gave me a job as a tattoo artist. I can up with different designs and help out with customers. For the first time I felt like I belong somewhere."

"And Martin? He was always physical. The day before I came home me and Martin got into it. He busted up my right shoulder and back pretty bad. It's healing, it's just sore."

She looked at me, the look on her face physically pained me. Her voice is a whisper "I don't expect you to look at me the same. Knowing that I have baggage. I would understand completely if I'm not welcome to stay here."

The anger and rage that washes over me again is almost uncontrollable. But a strong wave or sorrow and guilt is there, I couldn't protect her. And because I couldn't protect her she was beaten, bruised, and violated.

I grab her face in my hands as I wipe her tears away letting a tear of my own fall. "my love, you are the most precious being in mine and your brothers life's. No matter what you have been through you are still my daughter. I'm not going to say that I know what you've been through, because I don't." I drop my voice down to a whisper. "Im so sorry I couldn't protect you from them. No one as special as you deserve to go through that. But I swear that I will protect you, no matter what."

She finally breaks and pulls me into a hug, careful of her right shoulder, I wrap my arms around her tiny frame. Sitting down on the floor completely I pull her into my lap. I just cradle her, I feel her tremble slightly as her tears wet my shirt. I whisper to her, kissing the crown of her head. And that's how we sit for a while.

Soon her small quiet snores are the only thing that you can hear. I adjust myself so she still cradles in my lap but I'm now leaning up against the bed. There's a quiet knock on my door, looking up Elijah standing in the doorway. A hard straight face, but it softens as he sees Mia asleep in my lap.

He walks up and crouches in front of us, he runs his hand through her unruly hair ask he speaks softly. He looks down at her knuckles "Is she okay?" He looks at me, my jaw clenches as my hold on her unconsciously tightens. He looks at me confused. She stirs and let's put a small whine, Elijah continues to run his hand through her hair. A few minutes pass and she settles.

I take a deep breath, "she as strong as they come. Lots of people who go through what she did tend to give up on themselves. She has no idea how tough she is." And for the first time in what's seems like years Elijah smiles.

His whisper is so quiet that I don't think I was supposed to hear him but I did, "shes one of the strongest, I'm just glad she's home."

I silently agree. Because me and the boys will burn down the fucking world for her.