Yudhisthir entered in his chamber and closed the door with a bang . The soldiers at door were frightened to see their ever calm monarch this much agitated .
Closing the door behind him , he stood pressing his back against it and closing eyes . As a heavy sigh mixed with the feeling of dejection and being unloved left his heart . The words of Kunti were ringing is his ears . As he could see the death scene of Karna . He didn't saw Karna's death in his own eyes as he was too injured that time but rather saw his dead body afterwards .
He thought Karna was very nice person and sometimes felt like brother but after that day of dice when he insulted Draupadi by calling whore, his all admiration for Karna went off . Never he regretted for his death but felt bad on his death though he was from enemy .
But the thing which struck him the most was his mother . How could she do this ? Okay she was young so she was frightened from everything . But when her sons became adult she could have told everything to them atleast , they would have surely made some solutions for this , but she kept in within herself and the final result came brother died in brother's hand .
Yes Duryodhan and others also were their brothers and they killed them but they committed unforgiving sins and Karna supported them that's why they had to die , whoever will support sins have to pay sooner or later .
The more he thought the more he submerged in the ocean of grief , grief for things even which he never committed . He thought he was behind every thing happened by actively or passively .
A believe was getting stuck in his mind that "Mata has no mistake , it was my mistake only that I was not able to make her believe on me properly, that's the reason she feared for telling this to us ..to me but always se told that she trust us the most ? If she did how could she wasn't able to trust using this matter?" the dejection was overpowering him that made him think that his dear mother doesn't believe him in that way .
He felt weak to stand anymore so somehow held the edge of bed and fell on it with a thud . And didn't notice how much time passed sitting like a statue .
The sudden attack of shock and anger made him so blind for couple of minutes that when it decreased and his matureness hit him, the remembrance of his cursing words towards his mother made him feel more guilty as he felt he had no right to act like that to his mother, she wasn't able to trust him truly but never in life she did any scrooge in showing love, he need to think the other side of the coin also . She also spend her whole life without her one son but never showed and nurtured sons .
"I should apologize " he murmured to himself and made his way towards door and opened it, to his surprise his mother was already standing there who was equally
"Y.. Yudhisthir.." she was stunned by the sudden door opening she was standing there from couple of minutes but was hesitant to knock . He asked her to come in
"I am sorry the way I behaved to you .." he apologized .
"I.. it's okay you got a shock all of a sudden , anyone would have done same" Kunti said, she expected his outburst but he was still calm .
This words from her did only worse to him , the feeling of dejection went away and it occupied by hurt . She also measured him with the limelight of what others do usually on these situations...
"Right.. what is my difference with others , all are just same for me as well others" he looked other side .
Kunti thought he forgave her but in real she realized that he was beyond hurt with her hiding this from them...him .
He was not like others, none could become a father figure towards brothers instantly at a young age without shedding tears after father's demise . But he did as he had no time for shedding tears cause he was eldest there among five if he became weak then who will support his younger siblings ? But never he took any credit for this cause he thought it was not a duty but love for siblings.
"No son I didn't mean that, you are like a canopy for your brothers you sacrificed all your childish demands just for your brothers but never complained..." Yudhisthir cut her off .
"Why should I? believe that I loved my brothers that why it's natural that I will take care of them everytime ! What's complaining on it?"
"I took away your childhood if I had revealed everything earlier them it was easy for you..."
"Leave it mother , what's the need of these talks now , what had happened is past , I am not that much upset for my childhood days or anything , I am just thinking that you wasn't able to trust me ? Why ? You always told me you trust me then why you didn't trust my in this matter ?" Please tell me why ?" He held her hands kneeling down. Silent tears telling of the unsaid and reserved pain .
What should she say now? She can't make him understand why she did this, sometime somethings are unsaid. She wasn't able to make him understand and that's why he was thinking low about himself .
She understood the pain of feeling low in his eyes , the eyes which never left hope were showering the hurt inside him, she wiped his cheeks and hugged him she knew anything more argue may affect his mind more so she didn't say any more and silently prayed the Lord to lessen the grief of her son .
