Void mulch. (Dsmp Fundy Au)

Chapter 5: Answers Arrive

   Fundy stood in front of Philza’s door, shaking (,although whether it was from the cold or his nervousness, he was unsure). He let out a heavy sigh, and knocked. He heard silence, only broken by a few light footsteps from behind the door, before it opened slightly to reveal flowing pink hair tied in a braid, a shining crown, and one piercing red eye.
 “(oh gods..) What is this, the second coming of the butcher army?” Techno asked, already sounding done with Fundy’s presence. His fox-like ears flattened against his head. 
“H-Hey! I’m really sorry, still, about that whole thing..”
Technoblade sighed, and opened the door more.
Fundy was only getting more tense as time progressed (although, Techno did have a thing for killing orphans, so maybe it was warranted).
“Is Phil here by any chance?”
“What is it?” The winged man called from the kitchen, also already sounding annoyed. 
Techno though for a second.
”You know what? Come in for a minute.”

Fundy was hesitant, but he agreed anyway. Although, he didn’t sit down (he didn’t feel welcomed enough to do that), so he just kinda awkwardly stood by the fireplace. 
Philza leaned against the wall, and Technoblade sat comfortably on the couch.
“So, what is it that you need?” Phil started, tiredly.
“Well.. uhm.. I asked Captain Puffy about something, and she’d said that you’d be the best person to come to.. So.. here I am.”
“What did you ask her?” Techno looked up from a book he had grabbed at some point (when, Fundy wasn’t exactly sure). 
“I’ve been having these dreams of vomiting up this.. Black, goopy stuff.. And then it happened in real life the next morning. That morning being today.”
That made the old man pause. “What??” Technoblade also looked confused. 
“Sorry mate, I don’t think I’ve ever heard of that in my entire 57942 years of life, which probably means you’re either lying, or that’s just really rare. I doubt I could find you a book on that.”
“(You kept count of that???)” Techno said under his breath.

Fundy sighed again. “Well, it was worth a try, wasn’t it? Thanks for your help. See ya.” He handed Phil a leather pouch filled with a few gold bars, and walked out the door. Guess there wasn’t much he could do, so he just went to work.

Entering Las Nevadas, Fundy happened upon Quackity, and “Guy.”
“Why are you late?” Quackity asked.
“I had some health problems on the way up here. Look, I can just do some make up work later-” Fundy tried to explain before turning around quickly and keeling over to vomit more of that weird glunky stuff. For another full five minutes, it just kept pouring out of him, and when it finally stopped, he looked back up to see Quackity staring down at him in horror.

“WHAT THE FUCK!!??” He screamed.
“.. Those were the health problems.” Fundy further explained, tiredly.
The slime behind Quackity perked up, and said “Ooh! I know what that is, Quackity from Las Nevadas and Fundy from L’manburg! That’s how one of my old friends died!”
Quackity butted in with “I thought I was your first friend?”
“Oh. Well, I guess I forgot. Dap me up!”
“....”

“....”
“Who was it?”
“His name was Ted!”
Suddenly, Quackity could feel Glatt's presence, and he was very tense, making Quackity want to change the subject.
“Well then, do you know how to help Fundy?”
“Not really, but I could tell you what it’s called!”
“Well what is it called?”
“Void Mulch! It’s weird goopy stuff from the void! It’s really bad to ingest, and if you aren’t the one dealing with it, it’s not very wise to touch it. I’m pretty sure it’s contagious.” 
“So what do I do!?” Fundy asked, now very panicked.
“I don’t really think there’s anything you can do. I mean, you can try to not get some of the less desirable results, and I’m pretty sure there’s a god around here you could talk to, but that’s about it.”
“....”
Suddenly, Slime’s more serious face came back to a cheery, innocent one, as he called out “Dap me up!” once more. Quackity just sighed.