Shattered Mirror (BxB)

Why?

Hayden's P.O.V

I cant tell him, I know it could all get better, that all the bad things could go away and I wouldn't hurt so much if I did, but I cant. He may hurt me, but he is still my father, I still find small bits of love for him in my heart, and the more I think of it the more I know I must deserve it. Austin wouldn't realize that, wouldn't realize how bad I am and how much I deserve the abuse. It is my fault my mother is dead, I know this, I realize this suddenly and it hurts to have this information, but it stays planted there in the front of my mind. I shiver at the very thought of her death, she had been on her way to get my medicine because I was sick when I had called her to ask for something, I cant even remember what. She crashed while she was still on the phone with me. My fault. Its all my fault... I think as I walk from school to my home, I walk very slowly, fearful of what my father may do when I get home. I go inside and shut the door quietly, turning to go up to my room but I am suddenly by my fathers fist crashing into my jaw. I sprawl on the floor gasping as I clutch it. I feel a kick to my ribs and I lay there, taking the punches and kicks that rain down upon my small, weak body, pain exploding from each strike. I let out a surprised yelp when he latches onto my hair and drags me down the hall, me pushing my feet on the wood floor, trying to ease the pain coming from my head, but to no avail. I am pushed into a closet suddenly, and he uses bits of a wire hanger he tore apart to bind my hands together. I suck in a breath, ready to scream bloody murder when he stuffs something into my mouth. I cough and gag, trying to pull away and to spit it out but he ties a piece of cloth around my head, holding the make shit gag in place. "You can come out when you're a good son." That statement, in my mind makes no sense, perhaps he means when I'm not gay anymore? Is that why he has beaten me today, or is it a mixture of anger over mothers death as well as my sexuality? I do not know, and as I am engulfed by darkness I realize I don't want to know, I am aware of tears streaming down my cheeks as I lay there in pain. Why?