Past, Present, Future

Thirteen

•Dream•

You stand in front of the Widow you're assigned to fight for training.

"Go." The instructor commands.

You lunge at the widow, tackling her to the ground.

She punches you before jumping to her feet, so you do a kip-up to stand in front of her.

She lunges at you, but you flip backward, causing her to trip at the lack of your presence.

You quickly grab her and put her in a headlock.

When you look over at the instructor, she nods.

You know what she wants you to do...

"I'm sorry..." You whisper before twisting your arms, successfully breaking her neck.

You two were seven...

She had a life ahead of her, but it was taken from her... by you.

•End Dream•

You're a bit aware of your warm tears cascading down your face as you thrash around, then you feel cold hands grab yours.

"Y/N..." A faint voice summons.

You feel the person wipe your tears before your eyes shoot open as you breathe heavily.

"Y/N."

You try to smile at Loki, but you burst into tears.

"Shh, shh, shh... come here, darling," Loki whispers, wrapping his arms around you.

You bury your face into his chest.

"I-I'm so sorry!" You sob, not knowing if you're apologizing to Loki or the widow.

"Don't be."

A moment of silence passes before he murmurs in your ear, "Do you need me to stay with you?"

You want him to, but you know if you do, you'll most likely tell him your feelings, or worse, act on them.

"No..."

But you can't help it. You desperately need Loki's comfort.

"...Y-Yes..." You sob.

You feel his arms tighten around you a bit more.

"Then I won't leave." He assures quietly before kissing your forehead and beginning to rub your back.

"Y/N?" A voice asks from the doorway.

You lift your head off of Loki's chest and look to where the voice is coming from to see Bucky.

"Do you need help?" He asks.

You need comfort, but you can't continue to let Loki comfort you. Plus, feeling the comfort of Sergeant Bucky Barnes again - even though he still doesn't know who you are - sounds amazing, nostalgic, and safe.

"Yes." You mumble.

You reluctantly pull yourself out of Loki's arms, going over to Bucky, who wraps his arms around you, and you bury your face in his chest as you begin softly crying again.

"Then I guess I'll go..." Loki mutters.

He leaves, and you pull out of the hug.