Madness Combat Oneshots [Hiatus]

⊕ Jeb because I love him

Oh boy... this one's gonna be a long one and I just know it. 

My damned internet connection died while I was writing.

TW: dark topics + religious themes + mpn2 spoilers

● So. I feel like Jeb is the type of guy who thinks the concept of death is mundane. It's not that he wanted to die or that he no longer wanted to live, it's simply him overcoming his fear of death. I headcanon Jeb to be Catholic, so there's that whole "if I die, I hope I go to Heaven" mindset, or the "God'll save me" mindset of his that drives the fear away most of the time. Sometimes it does still attack him, and his mortality haunts him for this long period of time, but no one really knows about it because he's quiet when it comes to his feelings. Jeb might quite literally have depression but doesn't resort to hurting himself because it's the gateway to one of the ultimate sins. He's afraid of hurting himself because he doesn't want to sin against his Father and because he doesn't want to ruin any future opportunities.

● All of that changed when it came to you though. To him, you were like the one light of his life that could actually keep him sane and alive for as long as you wanted to stay. It started out as coworkers, then the Madness happened, and now he's holding onto you for dear life. Your presence was heavenly to him, and every time you came around to check on him or to talk to him or to just hang around, really, he felt loved. He felt like there was really this guardian angel who helped him out when he was so depressed, and this guardian angel was telling him not to do anything because you were about to come around. And you did.

● I genuinely feel like Jeb thanks God every day for you. He'd dedicate some time (even just 5 minutes alone) to talk to God, and then he'd talk all about you. He'd close his eyes while his hands are intertwined and in his head, all he'd be thinking of you would be you - you'd be an angel in his head, comforting him and shooing away all those bad thoughts - and then towards the end of his prayer, he'd thank God for sending you to him. (Random add-on, this was probably something I made for myself, but I quite literally adore the idea of him praying with his panicky significant other if they're religious. He'd just grab their hands in his own and say the Lord's prayer or any other prayer until they'd calm down.)

● Jeb probably caught feelings way before you did. It was like a true happening of love at first sight: you two were coworkers and it was your first day at the job. The door opens and he expects Phobos to come in and shout at them again but, instead, he sees you. Of course he's somewhat fazed and confused considering he has never seen you in Nexus before, but that confusion turns into "oh, they're so cool." and then, over time, it develops and becomes his first love.

● I feel like the confession'd be a mix of overwhelming emotions and the lack of context. Jeb'd be there, nervous as hell, wondering why he was even feeling these emotions in the first place, and then he'd look up at you and say it. He wasn't even sure if he said it the right way, if there was even a right way, and then he'd feel like he said it the wrong way. He figured, months prior to the confession, that these feelings were getting out of hand, because he'd be doing something as simple as working and then those feelings would come again, attacking his mind and making him overthink. It added to the load of stress he was already experiencing thanks to Phobos, and due to the minimal interactions between you two, he'd shrug the idea of a confession off before continuing on with the day's work. Nexus was quite the large building with offices for each and every lead scientist so there would be times when Jeb'd wait outside your office just to check up on you. Occasionally he'd knock timidly on your office door before coming in and asking if you were okay or not and if you needed anything, but most of the time he'd just camp there shyly. Very adorable!