It's In Your Eyes

Knuckles

Dean's POV -

I know Cas knows I've been quiet, but I just don't know what to say. All Charlie knew, all Cas told her, was that he'd been so angry, or confused or conflicted, of something, that he'd cracked that tiled wall in the shower... I had a hunch, but when I'd raised the issue of it, he'd just shrugged, said he'd fallen and banged it badly...

But he hadn't just fallen... He'd punched a wall. His gentle personality just didn't lend itself to something like that. That sounds more like something I would do. But he'd done it. Minutes after he'd ran away from me. So-

"What the hell?!" We're in the dorm now, but all the rest of our roommates are still in the common room, using up every last second of free time as they can. So I look at him now, in the eyes, his unblinking, beseeching eyes, and it's all I can do not to shake him. "Why'd you punch a goddamn wall, Cas?"

He looks down at his hand, itchy, healing scabs on the knuckles, but other than that and a little bruising, it looks much better. And he just stares at it so he doesn't have to look at me. And it hurts because he can't look at me, won't look at me. Why does it hurt this much?

"Cas, why?" I plead, searching his face for something, anything, that might give me some clue.

He finches, squinting and chewing with conviction on his lower lip. It shouldn't be so attractive, he shouldn't look so good like that. Like I want to touch him, hug him. Like I want to...

"I don't know." He sighs, spacing the words out like I might not understand them otherwise, and he looks up at me now. "I, just... The way you are going on, I was just. It wasn't easy to ignore."

I may be confused, but this is not the time for an explanation. Why does his mouth look so full right now, his lips a little swollen from the biting, a bit puffy, deep pink and soft. I barely notice I've done it till its done and irrevocable. Even if I wanted to.

He's stunned at first, like me, just gaping. But after a second, his more knowledgeable, confident fingers interlock with mine, our palms squeezes tightly together. His thumb rubs little, tingling circles on the back of my hands and an involuntary sigh, high like a moan even, slips out. It's so comforting. It's the most genuine comfort I've received in so long it's hard to recall. But I don't care. It's worth it to be having this moment with this person. No matter how conflicted my insides felt...

And I decide then, pulling his hand up to my own lips, puckered slightly and wary, pressing it to them, covering the knuckles. And it feels so natural. So right.

My tongue traces along the ridges and bumps of his big hand, and it feels so good. When I move away, we're face to face. I know I have to examine this, see what's what, before anyone thinks or guesses...

We're both flushed, pink checked and he's breathing quickly. And look at his mouth, parted a crack where I can see his teeth. I need to... It's close to my own lips now.

I lean in a little more, my nods involuntary, small, his lip still caught in a bite...

Castiel's POV -

What is he doing? Oh God. He was kissing my hands, and now he's so close. And there are footsteps outside. Shit! Footsteps!

The door swings open at that second, shortly after I swallow and back up. But I don't mind. He may not be holding my hands any more, but he still does care.

I don't mind I don't I don't mind.

Shit... I do.. mind, I can't do it again. I got through this once, but I just want him to take my hands to his mouth again. Please.

And people pour into the room, so loud. They're everywhere, and he retreats to his bed in silence.

He'd been this close to kissing me... So very close.