It's In Your Eyes

My Bad...

Jo's POV -

"Cas?!" I cry and scramble towards the figure sprawled on the ground, silent, panic throbbing in the chest and throat and coming out in my voice, when I pant.

"Jesus Christ..." Benny starts to move when I reach Castiel lying on his back unmoving but still breathing, little, shaky breaths that rattle too much.

"Cas, God, please!" I shake him with no reaction and Benny pulls me back from him, scooping him up bridal style and turning straight back to the school, calm and precise as a soldier.

But it's Cas in his arms and I know him and he's not moving...

"Cas please..."

~

"Jesus, Jo. He was burning up..." He's pacing back and fourth outside the hospital wing, all his calm dissolved, he looks completely freaked. "I mean he was like a furnace. What the hell?!"

I remember how Benny was when he started here, at Christmas last year, brave faced but utterly terrified. Something had happened before he'd joined the school, at his old school maybe. I don't know what it was, but I know it had involved someone that he'd really cared about... Maybe loved. And it had taken a lot to work up to this, him being open and calm around us...

He drops into the seat next to me at last and I take his hand in an instant, squeezing it.

"It's okay... He is going to be fine..." He better be.

There's a clatter from outside the doors and we both look up.

Dean's POV -

"Shit, Charlie. Shit." I twist in on myself, pulling at my hair. "We don't know what's wrong with him. He could be really ill and I let him just wander off! How's this gunna look to Bobby? He's going to kill me!"

I don't care really about that. He can kill me as many times as he wants. I'll keep coming back. If anything has happened to Cas, I'll keep coming back. So I can live with this choking, tearing feeling of- of...

"Dean, come on." Charlie grabs my hands and pulls me with her. I don't think to fight. Cas isn't here. So I don't fight to stay. I let her drag me along in my silence.

I should never have let him wander off. He could be anywhere. He could be lying in a ditch somewhere. He could be hurt.

Back at the school, light floods from the side door, streaking up the grass, and we stumble towards it. Someone stands in the doorway, holding the door open, but they don't look angry.

I don't look at them so it takes me a moment to place the name because my mind isn't working like it should. It's just flip-flopping around like a fish. But it's Anna... And I have to tell her I've lost her sick brother.

"Dean, where the hell have you been?!" She asks, gripping my shoulder and giving it a gentle squeeze. "Never mind. You need to come with me."

"Cas, I can't find. I can't-" I stutter and glance back at Charlie for help. But Anna cuts both of us off, shaking her head, tears in her eyes. Her breathing is fluttery.

"No. He-Cas is okay..." And she turns to continue down the corridor, or to hide her face in case she cries. I'm not sure which. "He was found in the maze. Unconscious..."

"What?" Charlie is almost shrill, wide eyed as we hurry towards the infirmary, picking up the pace. "Is he alright? What happened?"

"Fever got to him. Don't know why- how he got ill. But it could have been much worse if your friends hadn't found him...

We burst through the doors into the infirmary lobby and stop in front of a scared looking Jo and Benny. They're huddled together, holding hands. Jo's got her face buried in Benny's chest, his nose pressed against her neck.

I see Charlie in front of me visibly tense, then blush, and something tells me to store this reaction, this sight, for later analysis.

They'd both looked up and Jo pulls away with a whimper, looking at me. Then she stands and walks straight over to Charlie, hugging her and mumbling something about it being horrible. Benny is stood in front of me now, talking too, but they might as well be miles away behind a lead wall. Nothing being said goes in.

Instead I make my way over to the set of double doors, opening one and slipping inside. And there is Cas. So tiny and tanned against the sterile, white sheets. And I actually feel enough guilt to wind me and force me to sink into the seat beside him.

"Sorry about this, Castiel..." My bad.