It's In Your Eyes

Such A Mess

Castiel's POV -

A storm had pulled over the sky, filling it with thick, black clouds, by the time I become aware of my surroundings again, a bell somewhere pulling me round. I don't open my eyes as my senses fine tune and start ticking normally again. But there's something...

I inhale, deeply so my lungs fill with that scent. That marvellous scent. Of leather and lilies and books and, and. Honey. My spine tingles and I pull in closer to that smell that's so perfect and so safe. Whoever that smell belongs to, I'm so glad they're surrounding me right now, just the right amount of pressure on me, pushing me into the soft chair cushions and against them.

"Cas..." The body around me stirs and murmurs. I'm just about to answer when he moans softly and tucks me under his chin, a huff of air as his breathing regulates again. He's still asleep. And he is...

"Dean." I realise with a suddenness I almost jump up. I shouldn't be this closer to him, with what I'm thinking about him so often. He's a trigger. He can do bad things to my head if I forget to be vigilant. If I forget to be on my guard and let myself fall for it again. Like I did before. Because no one could like me like that. So I fell for it and I'll never ever again. Because. Because.

"Hmm... Cas." He stirs again. This time he pulls away though and his face is in front of mine. His lips are in front of mine. Right there. Slightly puckered and so red and full and sinfully soft. Definitely like rose petals. I bet they'd feel velvety. I bet they'd taste sweet- shush don't think that.

His lashes that had been gently, beautifully resting on his checks, so long and bottom and top tangled together, slide away from each other and flutter open. His piercing, green eyes come almost as a shock, so vibrant and pigmented, almost impossibly so. His pupils adjust, finally settling to a dilated focus on my own.

"Cas... What's going on?" He still looks slightly dazed, his voice a sexy, low growl, gravely from sleep. I shift a mite, butterflies whipping up a tornado in my stomach at it's sound. I know I can't, but all I want to do is stay huddled here. All I can think about is just, all I want to do is try and see, just see what it would be like to... To, reach up that little bit and just to-

"Nothing." I duck out of his hold and stumble over to the counter. As I go, something catches my eye and I see our hot chocolate sitting, untouched and separating, on the little table. I rub my neck.

"Erm..." Dean gets up and walks towards me, every inch of my body going tense at the thought of what he might do. And how I might feel about it. I sometimes wish I couldn't feel a damn thing, really.

He stands in front of me and reaches out, towards my waist. Then his hands wrap around my T-shirt and pull it down from where it had been rucked up messily around my middle. He clears his throat, blushing, and turns away, slumping back down in the chair.

There's a sound at the door and I spin to face the person there.

Charlie's POV -

Oh. Well. I could have entered a bit less awkwardly...

I'd walked in to find them tucked up together in such an adorably innocent way, tuckered out like a pair of little children, and cuddling together. But it was obvious from the simple placing of their hands, the looks on their faces, all the little happy, sleep noises coming from both of them. It was just so obvious that I'd walked in on something private. Something that maybe even they didn't realise was private. I don't think either of them would accept what is staring them in the face... Why didn't I see it before actually?!

I wasn't going to be the one to wake them if I could help it. The sight of them like that, of Dean so peaceful like that for once, I wasn't going to take that away from either of them. I'd slotted myself into the edge of the doorframe outside, so I could let them be... Keep an eye on them. Ignore, just ignore the slight smart of jealousy expanding in my throat. Threatening to choke me if I didn't keep telling myself otherwise.

But when the bell for next period, after lunch, had sounded, Cas had seemed to waken. Soon after Dean. And Cas got up. I'd go in any minute because if anyone, if they, found me here or something, it would probably look bad, and it'd probably be more awkward.

What Cas had told me, down in our clearing the other day. It made sense now, why he was remembering those feelings so strongly, clearly and distinctly lately. He was struggling with similar ones again, and I hadn't even thought of that... And I doubt Dean even realises what he's feeling, but he is, he has got to be feeling it. Because now I see it, how could that easily formed adoration in his eyes when he looked at his new friend, Castiel, be anything else...

I turn into the room and stop dead, watching Dean's hands leave the bottom of Cas's T-shirt and seeing the blush on his cheeks, even though he hasn't noticed me, he still thinks it's just him and Cas in the room and still. Still. This is a mess.

I watch him sink into the chair, hiding his face under the blanket a little, as simply as possible, and I want to just hug him. He doesn't do emotion. Definitely not like this.

This is such a mess.

The floorboard creaks under my foot and Cas turns. I try to smile but it comes out forced and weak, just like his that he offers in return, his face getting darker and pinker by the second.

This is so much more than a mess...