Chapter 6: Cumkwat

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I'm surprised by a carpet of spongy blue moss covering the floor as I step into the room.  I know there's a particular name for the waiters passing trays of hors d'oeuvres, but I can't remember. 

"Are you hungry?" Jonah asks. 

I squeeze his arm tighter as he guides me further into the room. "You're so sweet. No, I ate a little dinner. Honestly, there's no room for expansion in this dress."

Elves usually stare at me when I walk around town, but tonight they're being even more aggressive about it. 

"You look very pretty," Jonah says. Is he trying to explain why the crowd is studying us? 

"I think they can't believe I had the nerve to show my face."

Jonah sighs but doesn't comment as we make our way through the tables scattered about the crowded room. Giant bouquets of every flower imaginable hang from the ceiling, and the walls are covered in a thick blanket of pink vines that bloom in tiny yellow flowers.

"Isn't the nature stuff more of a faerie thing?" I mumble.

"Yeah, Princess Elaeria was responsible for the design. She must have enjoyed her time in Manahata."

"It's beautiful. Like an indoor garden, only better," I say, but he doesn't hear me because a couple of elves are greeting him. I stand and smile, but they're speaking Naga-Nuru. I'm getting better with the language, but only when Albína talks to me. 

The biggest issue I have is that there's no spacing between the words. It adds a beautiful melodic quality, but I can't tell where one word ends, and another begins. Some words can only be spoken on an inhale or exhale, but that's not true of all words. And other words have to be started on an inhale and end on an exhale. There's also many rules that contradict each other.

A hard slap on the back draws my attention. "Tōpī tapā," Solara shouts with a wide grin. "Who knew you could look like this? You're beautiful!"

I don't respond right away because I'm distracted by her hair, which is teased up into a giant blonde curly ball atop her head. It has to be two feet across. Her dress is yellow with embroidered vines that are actually growing and blooming across the skirt. The bodice of the dress is so tight I'm surprised she can breathe, let alone move.

"Tōpī tapā. You're stunning. Very high-fashion and editorial. You match the theme well, too," I shout over the music.

"Let's dance," she says, grabbing my arm.

I flashback to the happy time she and Dathid had before the Chimnockies betrayed us. She partied all five days. That was so long ago; it doesn't feel like my memory. It's like it happened to a different person.

Solara yanks on my arm. I can tell by her creased brow that sadness has crept across my face. I smile, but she's not convinced. I follow her to the dance floor. The idea is to be happy and live. Dead loved ones don't want the living to suffer. But I'm not supposed to pretend to be happy; I have to force myself to be truly happy, to smile, and laugh, and want to get out of bed.

We line up in rows, the males on one side facing the females on the other. When the music starts, I have no idea what I'm doing, but everyone enjoys my efforts and pushes me in the right direction. I forget everything and laugh for real for the first time in a long time.

The cape, jacket, and collar are discarded halfway through the night. One of the punches must have alcohol in it because I'm lightheaded, or maybe tons of grief, pressure, guilt, sadness, and rage have lifted from my shoulders. There will always be a hole in my life where Trelix and Lenox used to be, but I have some hope that I might be able to live without them, and not be crushed by the guilt of doing so.

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