The Delinquent's Haven

Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

 

          "Darin, you need to get some rest.  We can talk in the morning . . .  I won't leave, again, okay?  I won't do that to you, again," she whispered as she pulled him back into a hug. 

          "Haven, we . . . we can't do this anymore," he said and let her go.  "I hurt you too much and I don't deserve your forgiveness.  I should've told you about Yolanda . . .  I can't stand to see that look on your face because of me, again.  I'm sorry, Haven . . . but I just can't hurt you like that, again."

          "Then why are you saying this . . . ?"  She whispered, dropping her hands down to her sides.  He looked at her with remorse and a desperate plea for her to not hate him.  He didn't want her hurting because of him, but that's what Darin does. 

          He hurts people. 

          "Baby doll, don't hate me . . .  Please, don't hate me," he whispered as tears fell from her eyes.  "I just need time to figure this out, alright?  It isn't you, it's m-"

          "I've heard it before, Darin.  Save it, okay?"  She snapped before storming off to the staircase.  Then, she stopped and spun around on her heel to face him. 

          "You know what, Darin?  Just leave me alone, okay?  I thought I could trust you, but I guess I was wrong.  I thought that maybe . . . just this once . . . I actually met someone that gave a fuck about me, but I was wrong, wasn't I?"  She snapped, again. 

          "Haven, I do care about you.  That's why I'm doing this, baby doll . . .  I have to let you go," he tried to keep his voice gentle and even, but it came out hoarse and cracked when he said he had to let her go.  He didn't want to, but he had his own problems to work through. 

          No matter how selfish that sounded, it was the truth. 

          "I don't want to be let go, Darin!  Don't you see that?  I trusted you.  I showed you my art.  No one sees my art unless I care about them and what they think.  I don't know who I can talk to without you.  I don't even know if I can keep my head on straight if I don't have my best friend by my side every step of the way," she said, her voice even and her anger flaring.  She could feel the hallow feeling in her chest starting to form where it had once before and part of her felt like it was changing back into Runaway.  

          It was like a black hole.  It felt like someone had shot her there and was now digging at it with a knife to make it bigger.  She could barely breathe, but she kept on talking. 

          "Now, what?  Do we go back to being friends?  Am I supposed to forget that we ever kissed?  That we ever spent time together?  That you confided in me about your sister?  That I told you about my depression?"  She asked, not able to hold back the tears as they stormed down her face, "Am I supposed to forget all about us?  The hope I had that we could make it?" 

          "Baby doll . . . "  He said gently and walked closer to her. 

          "Darin, just stop.  Okay?  Stay away from me . . . "  She said and ran up the stairs.  Darin listened as she slammed her door and everything fell silent. 

          Darin closed his eyes for a moment and leaned against the staircase banister.  Sliding down it, he buried his face in his hands and cried.  It wasn't a cry that was loud or even had a single noise to it; it was the silent cry.  The kind that runs through your whole body, causing you to shake as tears slipped down your face.  You couldn't stop it and it hurt so bad . . .  It made him wish he had never even been born, because then he couldn't have had the chance to hur the people he had.