The Delinquent's Haven

Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

 

          "Need help?"  Darin asked when they reached the overgrown tree in the back yard.  Haven sighed, shaking her head back and forth before jumping up and gripping onto a low hanging branch.  She swung her legs up and pulled herself to the next branch. 

          Darin did the same, meeting her near the center most part of the cluster of branches.  Haven situated herself so she was leaning against the thickest part of the cluster.  Darin did the same before looking over and giving her a weak smile. 

          "What you said about your depression . . .  Was that true?"  Darin asked, staring up at the sky, "I mean . . . about it being like a storm and how it's consuming.  Is that was it's really like?  Is it really that exhausting?" 

          "For me . . . "  She whispered, "I don't know about anyone else."

          "For me, it's anger . . . "  Darin admitted, still staring up at the empty sky.  She nodded, turning her head toward the garage.  

          It was empty and dark inside, like she was.  Haven felt it . . . the emptiness.  She felt how alone it seemed inside of her heart.  She could feel the pull Darin had on her and she tried to reject it.  She didn't want to be close to anyone; last time, that blew up in her face and landed her in juvie for a couple of months. 

          Darin sighed, clearing his throat and looked over at Haven's blank and expressionless face for only a moment of time. 

          "Haven, do you believe what Yolanda said about you earlier?  That you're ugly?  That I didn't actually want you around?"  He whispered, hurt by what he was asking her.  He didn't know if he could handle the answer, but he was willing to try. 

          "Yes . . . "  She admitted. 

          "Why would you think that of yourself, baby doll?" 

          "Because that's what I am . . .  I am ugly and no one wants me around.  Who would, anyway?  I mean, my dad was willing to ship me off to a fucking reformatory school if the courts couldn't find someone to take me.  My mom told me she loved me, but I could see the lie in her face.  It was all a façade . . .  All of it.  They never loved me.  No one has ever loved me," she paused for a moment before whispering, again. 

          "Who could?" 

          Darin stayed silent after hearing her last question, not willing to upset her further. 

          "Why did you ask me that?"  She whispered after a few moments of silence. 

          "Because I needed to know what you thought of yourself . . . "  He admitted and sighed, looked back up from her face and to the sky, "I was right, too . . .  I knew you didn't think you were anything, when you really are." 

          "No, I'm not, Darin.  I'm nothing, okay?" 

          "No," he mumbled, looking into her eyes, now. 

          "No?  Why the fuck not?" 

          "Because you're an amazing young woman, baby doll.  Why don't you see that?  Why don't you see your beauty and the amazing personality you have?  Why don't you see anything that I see?  Why don't you want to show yourself to the world?"  He asked, worried about what she might respond to his questions with.

          "The world will only judge me for what I'm not . . . "  She mumbled, slightly annoyed at all his questions. 

          "Baby doll, that world would think nothing of you other than the fact that you're an amazing person.  All the world would see is your natural beauty, the innocence of your heart and the happiness you manage to give the most useless of people . . . "  He was trying to get her to see what he did, but he could tell it wasn't working.