I am not who you think

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He must have fallen asleep cause he woke up to a cup of coffee being held under his nose. Luke stood there with two coffee mugs in his hands. He looked like shit. Bed hair and circles under his eyes. And the missing smile that bothered North so much.

The coffee made North smirk. When he just moved in with Uncle and Luke, they fought a lot when he decided to start talking. And Luke would make what they called apology coffee for him.

His brother was dressed like the day before but with a black t shirt today. Now that he thinks about it, yesterday's clothes were also dark.

Taking the coffee he scooted upright and made space for Luke. After he went missing North spend a lot of time thinking. And he didn't like the conclusions he came to.

He had treated his own brother badly. Actually he treated everyone around him like shit. But he treated Luke especially bad, as bad as their father treated him. North didn't like the thought that he was turning into his dad.

"I think I should go stay at Uncle." Luke mumbled, stareing into his coffee mug like the answers to all the questions of the universe could be found there.

"Why? It will upset Sang. Actually it will upset all of us." North recalled Kota's words. Luke was going to run. "I'm not safe to be around. I nearly killed you. I was being unrealistic. All I wanted was to come home. But what I become.....what if you were Sang last night?" North didn't like how hollow Luke sounded.

"So we talk to Sean about this. We even keep this between us. I will let the others know you don't like to be touched. Does this happen often?"

"The nightmare or me half killing people?" Luke asked. "Both." North answered. Luke sighed. "Both very rarely." He was half lying. He has been killing people for a living for six months. But last night was the first time that he put a weapon to an innocent person throat.

The nightmares used to be every night but has became less. He really hoped this wasn't them starting up again. This may turn out to be more difficult than he thought.

"I don't want to hurt anyone of you." His head hurt and he felt tired. Suddenly something Sydney said made sense to him now. Going back wasn't easy.

They were first on the run, then on the hunt. They haven't had a "normal" life for three years. Sydney said readjusting to be normal by others standards were hard. And he'd know. He done that what Luke was attempting.

"Do you want to talk about your dream? " North asked. Luke's heart rate increased. "No." His answer was instant. North studied his face for a moment.

"I am not going to push. But I'm not stupid. Something big happened to you, and you don't have to talk to me about it. But please see someone. Before this destroy you. Please."

Luke had to look away. North didn't beg. And the look on his face twisted his stomach with guilt. "I will try." He compromised. He wasn't going to make promises he could not keep.

"Want to help make breakfast? I will make you choc chip pancakes." There was a bit more sparkle in luke eyes. "Haven't had that in three years. And yeah I don't mind helping at all."This was how the rest of the family found them.

Owen Blackbourne stood in the doorway looking at them working. The coffee in the coffee pot was screaming his name but he didn't want to interrupt the miracle in front of him. He thought he'd never see Luke again and mourned. He was still looking but part of him believed Luke was gone forever.

It changed how he interacted with his brothers. They were no longer Academy and he wasn't team leader anymore. Their loss, he thought was going to tear them apart but they got through it. Mr. Formal belonged in the boardroom, not with his family. Change was hard.