Lose Your Mind-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

Slow Dancing In A Burning Room

There are only two forces at work in this world-black and white. Only people are grey.-Chris Heimerdinger

We left Bob's house a few hours later because I could tell he was dying to get back to school and Soda needed to go to work anyways. They had both sacrificed to come and help me and I had no way of thanking them so I stayed silent. Bob dropped Soda and I off at his house and I left him with a kiss on the cheek and a thank you. When I stood outside the Curtis's I froze. Even if Dallas wasn't in there I was still so afraid of all the memories flooding over me.

"You can do this." Soda whispered, his breath tickling my ear.

I took a deep breath and walked in beside him. With him by my side, it seemed almost bearable. I had no time to be sad because the first thing that happened was Two-Bit flung himself at me.

"Where the hell have you been?" He squeezed me so tight I couldn't get a breath out of my lungs.

"I missed you, Two." I grinned, "But I can't breathe."

He released me and then only grinned some more, "Sorry, I just missed ya."

The love my heart had for him swelled. Somehow Dallas leaving made me appreciate each of them more and I just wanted them to know that. Ponyboy stood in the doorway looking shocked to see me. I didn't hesitate to run over and hug him. I didn't care if it embarrassed him.

His rosy cheeks glowed, "I thought you would never come back."

"Your brother dragged me back." I smiled at Soda who was watching us from across the room.

When Darry walked into the room everyone fell silent. He had his arms crossed and was looking at me with a stern look in his eyes. Darry was in charge of everyone, even if no one would admit it.

"Are you still dealing?" He asked me with no hesitation in his voice.

I shook my head, "I promise I'm not."

I was going to give it up. It wasn't worth all the trouble it had given me and I wish I would have recognized that sooner.

His cold look softened, "Then you're always welcome here."

I hugged him, even though he seemed less than happy to be on the receiving end of it. I didn't care. He had proved himself to be like an older brother to me and loved him for that.

"Alright, enough of this sappy stuff." Steve complained, "What's going on for tonight?"

"There's a party at Buck's. That's all I know about."

Suddenly, I was in the mood to do something crazy. I wanted to get out and live again.

"Let's go guys! It'll be so much fun!" Soda looked like he was resisting, "Please."

"I can't say no to you." He stuck his tongue out at me.

Buck's was crowded, as usual. He was nowhere to be seen, but that wasn't uncommon for one of his parties. It wasn't always him that was throwing them. He just let people use his house if they wanted. Nobody really knew what he was up to. Still, I was having fun without him there. I beat Two-Bit in three games of pool and for the first time in weeks, I felt happy. At least I did for a while.

I heard him before I saw him. Soda turned to face me and I knew he heard him too. He hadn't shaven in what looked like days and his eyes were rimmed red. Whether it was from alcohol or sleep deprivation, I didn't know. He sat beside a girl I had never seen before and when we met eyes, it was like there was nothing there. Where there was once love and compassion there was nothing but cold steely hate. It hurt. Seeing him look at me like that hurt.

 Soda guided me, arm around my shoulder, "Come on, Ice."

He guided me to a back room, filled with beer and blankets. He sat me down on a makeshift stool and faced me.

I placed my hands in my face, "He hates me."

Soda couldn't comfort me. He couldn't tell me Dallas didn't because I wouldn't have believed him for a second. I was no fool. He let me sit there crying with his arm wrapped around me, my tears staining his white t-shirt. Even though he was watching the door he couldn't do anything when it swung open. Dallas was standing in the doorway, watching Soda and I.

"I'm not surprised." His voice was cold and calculating.

"Get out of here, Dally." Soda stood up, putting his hand on Dallas's chest.

As soon as Sodapop did that I knew what was coming. Dallas punched Soda so fast he didn't have time to move. He hit him square in the jaw, sending him stumbling backwards.

"Don't you dare hurt him!" I jumped up.

No matter how pathetic I had been feeling I wasn't going to let Dallas get away with that. I put my hands on both of them and Sodapop's stiff and rigid body calmed at my touch.

"Get off me." Dallas growled, "You don't get to touch me."

"I'm sorry." My voice cracked when I spoke.

"I don't give a damn about your apologies." He took a step back, "You're dead to me."

He walked away and slammed the door behind him, leaving Soda and I alone in the closet. Dust fell from the ceiling as the frame shook.

I turned back to Soda, "Are you okay?"

"Fine. He's hit me worse before." He rubbed his jaw, "Are you?"

"I'm okay."

"Why do you do that?"

"Do what?"

"Pretend things don't bother you." He gave me a strange look.

"They don't."

I sat there in the closet with only silence between us and wondered how many times I had told that lie before.