Lose Your Mind-A Dallas Winston Fanfiction

Where Do We Go From Here

The heart was made to be broken.-Oscar Wilde

I stayed at the party for the pure reason of pleasing Soda and Two-Bit. I knew I had been dragging them down and I just wanted them to have fun for once. They were good enough friends that they would leave if I was unhappy, so I pretended that I was doing okay. Soda stayed near my side throughout the entire night anyways, even though I told him I was fine. He has a way of knowing about things like that. I kept seeing Dallas out of the corner of my eye, whether I liked it or not. I saw him playing darts and throwing his arm around some girl with blonde hair that fell to her shoulders. Each time I saw him it hurt my chest, but I pushed the pain to the back of my mind with the help of the beers Two-Bit kept getting for me.

By the time it was midnight I could barely stand straight and I was saying things I normally wouldn't say. I played pool with a couple of kids and Two-Bit. Soda watched from the sidelines. One of the kids couldn't be older than 15 and I learned his name to be Frankie. He had dark hair that swept across his forehead, despite all the grease he had in it and tempting admiral eyes. He laughed at odd times and when he did his crack front tooth poked out from behind his lips. The other boy was Jet, even though he told me a million names his real name was John. He had lighter hair than anyone I had ever met and a heavyset face. Two and I figured them to be not too bright so we decided to hustle them.

To hustle someone you've got to pretend to be bad in the beginning, and maybe even lose some money at first to keep suspicion at bay, but then a couple games in you can start winning. Darry always warned that it would get me into trouble, but I never bothered to listen. I was only a kid, nothing bad could happen.

Anyways, I guess Two-Bit and I were pretty wrong about Frankie and Jet, because they caught on after a couple games. 

"So, are you going to give us our money back?" Frankie crossed his arms over his chest.

For only being 15, he was brave.

Two give them a shake of his head, "We won this fair and square."

He waggled the money in front of their faces and if I could have stopped him from doing that I would of. Neither Jet or Frankie were too pleased with being taunted. They started swinging, and pretty soon a fulll on brawl was going on. More and more people jumped in, and I was the only one with enough common sense to pull them apart. The thing about pulling apart a bunch of greasers fighting though, is that they don't take to it lightly. An elbow came flying back into my face before I could duck out of the way.  Before I could even stop the bleeding someone grabbed me roughly by the shoulder and yanked me right out of the middle of it.

"Just come along, will ya?" A familiar gravelly voice spoke harshly.

He pulled me into an upstairs room, away from all the noise and fighting. I hesitated to meet eyes with him, afraid of all the hate they may have contained. Still, I finally gained my courage and met his eyes that were only filled with concern.

"Who hit you?" Dallas asked, handing me a washcloth from from the dresser.

I shook my head, wincing as I wiped the blood away from my nose, "Don't know."

Dallas looked like he was about to go tearing out the door, but I grabbed his wrist expecting him to pull away, "Don't go fighting, Dal. You know that will only cause more trouble." He still looked hesitant, "Stay with me."

He huffed, but threw himself down onto a chair. My head was spinning, and my nose was stinging but I was mainly wondering what the hell Dallas was doing there. A few hours ago he was acting like he couldn't give less of a damn about me and now he was rescuing me.

"Why'd you help me?"

"I ain't about to let you get killed." He snapped, annoyance clear in his voice. 

"Why not? You said I was dead to you anyways." I pushed him further.

He glared at me, "You should know better than anyone that I don't always mean what I say."

I gave him a small smile, "Well, thanks."

He opened his mouth to speak, but then shut it tight, teeth clicking together.

"You were going to say something." I pointed out.

"No I wasn't."

A silence fell between us. I wanted so badly to curl up next to him and lean my head on his shoulder, but I knew better. He was hurting, I could tell, but I couldn't be the one to help him this time.

"Dallas?" I began.

He silenced me with a look, "Don't."

"You don't even know what I was going to say!" I huffed, frustrated

He looked at me incredulously, "Yes, I do! You're going to tell me how sorry you are." 

I tried to meet his eyes, but he looked away, "I am sorry."

Suddenly, he fell very quiet, "I know."

"Then why can't we just go back?"

He looked at me, his almond eyes blazing and his eyebrows narrowed in intense angles, "Look, I get you're sorry. I do. But, every part of me is so damn furious with you. When I see you, I don't see the girl I loved anymore. I can't."

The word loved stood out in my mind, shouting itself at me that I barely processed what he was saying.

"I'm not saying that I'll never get over this. But, for right now I ain't want a thing to do with you."

He walked over to me and wiped the tears falling from my eyes off my face. It was an a gentle gesture that I wasn't expecting. His rough hands felt like home and boy, was I homesick.

"Don't leave me."

The words slipped out before I could stop them, and I saw the effect they had on Dallas immediately. It was like the words physically pained him as his eyes scrunched up tight. When he opened his eyes again, I was horrified at what I saw. Small pools of tears fell from his carob eyes and dug paths onto his skin.

"I can't stay."