009: I WAS ONLY SO LITTLE.
i was only so little. with fragile dreams, tasting of cotton candies and flakes. they were effervescent and so full. my heart pumped with orange hues and glazing sunsets. it was a merry rollercoaster with nothing but jubilant smiles. i was ever so little.
my mind was an innocent mess, jumbling words with rhyming words, loving fruits and singing chimes to the music that only little ones would realize. i was only so little, when my mum sighed, hugging me in, she said "i don't want you to see the humongous world, my darling." and i watched her with big eyes. big innocent eyes.
"i want you to witness all the kindness in this world." my father murmured, but this world remained a clog of heathens. preying on innocent eyes and puckered lips. short skirts and candy dreams. i was ever so little when i realized, my parents wanted me to live. but they wanted me to live without having to fear my every staggered step.
the world would eventually rip your innocence away from you. it wouldn't let you be little for long. but for as long as your heart thumps with cotton candy dreams and rollercoasters, you're still so little. as long as your mind hovers with tragic innocence, you're still so little.
i wanted to be so little. i wanted to be always little. why was it taken from me.
and then one sulky day.
i was only so grown.
and the feeling was foreign.
so so foreign. and lost.
