Lola Indigo- Imagines

New beginnings

Words- 1172

Sorrow-  A feeling of deep distress caused by loss, disappointment, or other misfortune suffered by oneself or others.

Sorrow was what I felt the moment I had found out what my now ex girlfriend had done. I did not think she would go as low as this, to cross that unspoken line in relationships. It took me by surprise, the love we once shared had started to fizzle out yet I still felt a great pain in my chest. The stabbing wound of betrayal from someone who I had once trusted with all my love in the past. The memories thrown away like they were dirt, like they never meant anything. The relationship was bound to end, I had developed an attraction to a friend, I was going to tell her about it so we could break it off peacefully, so we could go our separate ways happily. Yet she never gave me this chance, instead she went behind my back and kissed another. It hurt me, hurt me in a way I would never have suspected.

It took a toll on me, insecurities present through each minute of the day, reminding me I was not enough. I was not enough for her to talk to about feelings and not enough for the one I am attracted to. It felt like I was drowning in self doubt before I decided to surround myself with some company...The company of her, Mimi. 

She had always been there for me since we first met, and I always felt something towards her, I just never knew what I had felt. That was until I started to date my ex, it started with imagining her as Mimi, then comparisons. It carried on until I realised my feelings which is when I had planned to tell my ex about it, so I would not have to carry on living a lie. But I guess it did not matter in the end, her heart had never been with me in the first place.

I decided to call Mimi, realising that sitting in self pity would not cure me, but rather company from a friend may lift my spirits. I called her number and she picked up almost as soon as I called.

 (M is Mimi)

M- "Hey, Are you alright? I have not heard from you in days and was starting to seriously worry"

"I'm sorry."

M- "You have nothing to be sorry for. Are you feeling alright? You do not sound yourself"

"She- I just- I can't believe her"

M- "I'm coming over, I will be there in 10 minutes"

With that, she hung up the phone and left to visit me. This was the first time I had spoken since I found out, I could barely form sentences, my mind still all over the place since the event. I just wanted to cry, to release all of my emotions. To be held by the one I like, to be comforted and shown that I am wanted. I craved her reassurance and her love, it made me feel wanted. I turned my head slightly as I heard keys in my door and remembered that I gave Mimi my spare keys in case of any emergency. 

M- "Are you here love?"

"I'm over here"

I let out weakly, still not trusting my voice in case it failed. I heard her lock the front door and set down her stuff before her footsteps made their way over to my bedroom, where I had remained since it happened. My room was still rather neat, probably as I had barely moved, only occasionally moving to get to the bathroom or to get some food/water. I had dark circles under my eyes reflecting the lack of sleep I had gotten, my hair slightly matted from not brushing it. She knew that something was wrong and made her way over to my bed, carefully sitting on it. 

M- "I'm here now love, it's alright to let it all out"

That was all I needed for the tears to start running down my face in streams. She took me in her arms and just held me. She had one hand on my back and other other on my head, rocking me occasionally to comfort me. She never let go, reminding me she was here for me and that she would not be leaving any time soon. 

M- "Take your time, there is no need to rush. When you are ready, you can tell me what has happened. You don't have to though, I won't be leaving either way"

I nodded into her chest and just sobbed, cleansing me off of all my sadness that had accumulated over the past few days. She did what she had said and stayed there, cradling me in her arms.

"She cheated on me"

She pulled away slightly to look me in my eyes, she had a look of sympathy evident. She took both of my hands in hers, rubbing the back of them gently in order to console me.

M- "You did not deserve that, not one bit. You are so much better than her, she didn't deserve you. Please remember that this was not your fault, you did not cause it, you did not deserve it either. Losing you will be her biggest regret as you are amazing. She may not see what she lost now but in time she will, but by then you will be happy and will be surrounded by better people"

I looked at her, a fresh set of tears brewing in my eyes. This time not from the pain I felt, but from the kindness from her words. As long as I have her by my side, I will always be happier. 

"Thank you, those words mean so much to me. I can't say that losing her had hurt me, rather it was a relief. I had planned to break up with her from the start as I developed feelings for another. It just pained me to see her cheat like I was nothing"

Her eyes held a new emotion, one I couldn't figure out. She looked conflicted, like she didn't know what to do next. I was about to speak again when I felt warm lips on mine. I immediately closed my eyes and kissed her back with the same passion. Our lips moved in sync which sent sparks throughout my body, making me feel alive again. We pulled apart and our foreheads rested against one another. We both smiled softly, happy at the revelation that we had mutual feelings.

"I really like you, it was you who I thought about, you who I said about. I just want you"

M-" I like you too, my love. I will wait however long it takes for you to be ready, I will always be here for you. I promise to treat you right unlike your ex."

I giggled hearing the dig at my ex. I already knew she would treat me better, she had already from just being my friend. With that, she enclosed me in another hug, securing me with a newfound love.