The Hope Within Us (Memories Series #1)

Chapter 22

I wish I could go back in time. Back to when I found out he was sick. I wish I had just accepted it and not reacted so impulsively and immaturely. Hindi sana ito nangyayari sa amin ngayon. Magkasama pa rin sana kami, masayang bumubuo ng mga alaala na alam naming hindi mapapalitan ng anumang halaga sa mundo. That's what I've regretted the most.

"Hija... Inus had a seizure again." Tinawagan ako ni Tita Carolina, ang ina ni Inus. I could tell from the tone of her voice that Inus' seizure had a bad meaning... again. Hindi na ito bago sa amin sa mga nagdaang buwan at taon. However, accepting it over and over again is difficult, as if you are slowly being consumed by the fire that you have long kept away from the fuel that will bring more severe grief.

"Babalik na po ako. Katatapos lang din po kasi ng session ko kay Dr. Israel. Pasensiya na po." Nilipat ko sa kabilang tainga ko ang phone para malagay ng doktor ko ang coat na suot ko. I mouthed a soft 'thanks' to her and she just smiled.

"It's okay, Hija. Alam namin kung ano ang sitwasyon mo. You're just like our son, and we're grateful that you didn't abandon him. You stayed despite the fact that this is the darkest moment of his life. Kaya ang tanging maisusukli lang din namin ay ang panalangin na palagi kang healthy. This is also to prepare you when he wakes up and..."

"Tita, you don't need to say that. Wala po akong ibang hinihinging kahit na anong kapalit sa tunay na pagmamahal ko kay Inus kundi ang magising lang po siyang wala nang kahit na anong komplikasyon na nararamdaman." Inayos ko sa balikat ko ang bag na dala ko bago lumapit sa doktor ko.

"You did well again today, Lu. I'll call you later for more instructions and details, okay?" Dr. Israel pushed the paper on the table towards me, and it was unmistakably the result of our session today. Sometimes, I get tired of reading it because nothing seems to be happening, but I still have to accept it no matter what.

Tanging ngiti na lang ang isinukli ko sa kanya bago naglakad palabas ng opisina niya. Napatigil ako nang may pamilyar na taong nahagip ang mga mata ko. I looked for it again but only the crowded lounge area appeared before me. Hindi ko tuloy nakuha kung ano na ang sinasabi ni Tita.

"Lu? Andiyan ka pa ba?"

I drew a deep breathe. "Opo, sorry po. Ano nga po ulit iyon?" I continued to walk as if nothing happened. Mabilis lang din akong nakarating sa parking area kaya pinatunog ko na ang sasakyan ko.

"Inus is already awake, Hija."

My walking came to a standstill. Of all the possibilities and expectations rushing through my mind, this one's too unusual and astounding. The pain that had lingered in me for years resurfaced, as if seeking the familiar scent of warmth. My mouth left opened, lost in the words, as my heart struggled to beat on its normal phase.

"He's awake and he's looking for you."

I gasped. Napatakip agad ako sa bibig ko. As I closed my eyes quickly, tears found their way to fall from my eyes.

"I... I'm coming, Tita."

The call ended. I staggered to my feet, swaying slightly. I was relieved to see that there was a car before mine, so I used it as an alternative tool to regain my strength and calm myself down.

"Oh, Inus..." I mumbled, and tears just kept on coming. One wipe and I managed to go to my car. Gamit ang nanginginig na mga kamay, hinahanap ko sa loob ng bag ko ang susi. Pinaharurot ko agad ang sasakyan.

"I'm sick, Lu." Nakita ko ang pag-aalinlangan sa mga mata niya. "May tumor ang utak ko."

Ang ngiting kanina ko pa suot ay biglang naglaho't napalitan ng galit instead of sympathy and fear.

"Seryoso ka ba?" I didn't mean to sound so sarcastic. "Kailan pa, Inus?"

Bumuntonghininga siya. "About a month ago..."