I don't want to come back.

Chapter 7.

Harvey quickly escaped the bathroom and all but ran to his office, not even sparing a bewildered Donna a glance. He went straight to his window to look out at the city below. He fistted his hands as tightly as he could and leaned on them, trying to keep his ever daunting emotions at bay. All he could see was Mike, sitting in that damned corner, and his piercing blue eyes boring wholes into his, as every emotion Mike felt fought for dominance, to many to count flitting through, as Harvey had tried to read them. He had hurt Mike and he didn't know how to fix it. The tie had only made things ten times worse. Harvey let out an angry growl as he swiped his signed basketballs off the window ledge and onto the floor. He was vaguely aware of Donna entering his office. He tried to get control over himself as he watch Donna picking the basketballs back up and putting them where they belonged.

He collapsed into his couch, face in his hands, and tried to make sense of everything that had happened over the last day. He could still feel tears in his eyes and tried to will them away. He only looked up when he felt Donna sit down beside him. She sent him a questioning look, for once being outside the loop, and he felt a bitter smile cross his face. He simply said, "I screwed up more than I thought and I don't know how to fix it this time Donna."

Donna looked at Harvey with a troubled smile. "I'm sorry, but I don't know what to tell you Harvey." Donna rubbed a hand up and down his back, trying to offer the man some comfort. She was pissed at Harvey for hurting Mike but if anyone could see the pain it was causing Harvey as well, it was her.

Harvey sat quietly thinking for a few minutes before angrily blurting out, "I should have seen this coming!" Donna just looked at him questioningly, silently asking him to explain. Harvey looked at his hands clasped in front of him. Closing his eyes he continued, "I saw his smile over the last few months." Donna looked confused to he tried to clarify. "There was this poem I read once. It was all about smiles. It went,

"A sad smile
Pains more than a frown
A glimpse of a loved one
As they silently drown

A broken smile
That speaks of frustration
A choked laugh
Full of desperation

A troubled smile
That speaks of a fight
Worried eyes
Searching for light

A bitter smile
That thinks it's too late
A mind given in
To a horrible fate

A wistful smile
Can mean nothing good
Most of all if its meaning
Is misunderstood

A sad smile
Is far worse than a frown
For it's the smile of someone
Who's accepted they'll drown."

Mike has had nothing but sad and bitter smiles since he talked to Jessica that about the merger." Harvey looked Donna in the eyes, and could see understanding, as well as guilt. They had both seen the way Mike had been faking a smile. They both should have seen that he was breaking.

Donna tried to break the tension, poking Harvey in the side, she laughed a little. "Did you, Harvey Specter, just recite a poem from memory?" They both chuckled.

Looking at Donna Harvey pretended to be defensive, "What? It's a good way to pick people up in coffee shops and book stores!" This time they both let out a small laugh.

After that the two sat in silence, both having things to go over in their minds; things to blame themselves for. They both felt guilty for not putting their pride aside long enough to see that Mike had needed help, or at least support, and that they had not been there to provide it.

SUITS

Louis had slowly approached Mike, his hands held out in a gesture of peace. Mike's eyes hadn't left his since Harvey had run out. Louis was a little unsettled by how powerful Mike's gaze was. When he got to Mike's side he slowly knelt down and placed his hand on Mike's shoulder, never taking his eyes off Mike's face, so he could gauge his reaction. When he saw Mike was slightly comforted by the gesture he did something he thought he would never do. He hugged one of his associates. Mike would take any comfort he could get and clung to Louis for a few minutes; he needed to feel like someone in the world cared about him, and in this moment he knew Louis at least cared a little. He was only pulled from the hug as one of the associates entered the bathroom. Louis just pulled back and glared at the poor guy until he left, practically sprinting out of the room.

Louis then slowly helped Mike up and with an unspoken agreement Mike gathered his stuff from the counter and followed the man to his office. Louis left for a moment, soon returning with the rest of Mike's things, and they headed toward the elevators. Mike found himself in a cab, headed home, with Louis basically escorting him. When they pulled up in front of his building Mike thanked Louis for all he had done for him that day and found himself hugging Louis good bye. They both knew under any other circumstances they would laugh at the idea of hugging, but in the moment they both knew Mike needed it, and Louis didn't find a hug a big price to pay if it meant helping Mike.

Mike watched as the cab turned around and headed back toward the law firm. Louis still had work to do, and with his associate out of commission for the moment, he had even more to do then previously thought. When the cab was no longer visible among the sea of other cabs Mike tuned and headed up to his apartment.

As Mike walked through his front door he felt his exhaustion slam into him. He hadn't felt this emotionally wrung out since his Grammy had died. He had forgotten how much breakdowns took out of a person. Without even slipping his messenger bag off his shoulder he walked over to his bed and collapsed into it, unconscious before his head even hit the mattress.