S.W.A.T

Part 5

Louis wakes at around 6am, his shoulder is aching like mad, Scott and Harry are still sleeping so Louis quietly gets up to go to the bathroom. He takes his jumper off and unwraps the bandage on his shoulder. There is blood on the bandage and when he takes it off the cut is red and nasty looking, he really did do some damage.

Louis doesn't want to think about what actually nearly happened to him. He had to do his job and that meant going in without a vest, if he hadn't he would have put everyone else's lives at risk.

Louis winces as he tries to clean the cut with some water, his shoulder is just aching crazily, he must have slept funny. Scott then walks into the bathroom rubbing his eyes, he turns concerned when he sees Louis.

"Are you okay?" Scott asks

"Yeah" Louis half smiles, he doesn't want to give Scott and Harry the satisfaction of admitting his arm is sore

"You sure? Let me look at your shoulder" Scott says as he moves closer

"It's fine Scott, I was just cleaning it like Amy told me to do every second day" Louis says

"Let me help you" Scott says

Louis is taken aback by Scott's concern it's very welcome but weird and Louis doesn't want them to think he can't handle it

"I said I'm fine, thanks, I can handle it" Louis says.

He doesn't want Scott to see the wound up close so he grabs his jumper and puts it back on, walking out of the bathroom to go make a tea, he will shower after Scott

Scott watches as Louis leaves once again, trying to figure out how he and Harry are going to break down Louis walls that they've obviously helped him put up.

Harry and Scott walk into the kitchen fully showered and dressed for the day. They see Louis sneaking some Panadol from the cupboard

"Shoulder sore?" Harry asks

Louis looks up and shrugs as he takes the pill and puts the pain relief back on the shelf. He is absolutely not admitting anything to Harry and Scott but his shoulder is really hurting

"Louis, can you please let me take a look at your shoulder? Do you need me to call Andy?" Harry asks

Andy is the bureau doctor and always makes sure the team are seen straight away, he will do house calls for everyone too. The boys trust him impeccably.

"No, it's fine, my shoulder is fine, stop pretending to care, I didn't die, I'm not dying, you don't need to worry about me or pretend to, I don't know what you guys are feeling guilty about but it's okay, Go back to how you used to be" Louis says and he sounds upset and frustrated.

"Louis" Scott says

"What Scott, I really can't do this anymore..." Louis confesses and that gets Scott and Harry on edge

"Do what Lou?" They both ask gently

Louis looks at the two men in front of him, he loves them to pieces, can't get over how beautiful they are, but he's tired of trying to be what they want and live up to their expectations, he's tired of feeling like he isn't enough, he just wants to feel loved and cuddled every now and then, tears gather in his eyes and he freaks out, what the fuck is wrong with him.

"Nothing, see you tonight" Louis says and he's then rushing towards the bathroom to get ready, hoping Harry and Scott have left by the time he leaves.

"What was that?" Harry asks as he watches Louis leave

"I don't know but I'm worried" Scott says

"His shoulder is sore, I don't know why he won't admit that to us" Harry says

"I do" Scott says sighing

Harry looks at him confused.

"He thinks we will think he's weak for not handling it, probably punish him further by making him stay off for a month, send him to a different department. He can't really trust us can he? We also handle things very differently, when you had that concussion, you were off a day and went back to work, when I fell from the balcony at that second raid we ever did, I was working on a broken leg and arm, we just got on with things didn't we" Scott says

"So does Louis, when he's sick he just keeps going" Harry says

"Exactly Haz and we shouldn't be allowing that to happen, we should be looking after him instead of expecting him to do it himself. You and I always have each other, he didn't see us look after each other in private at work and at home did he, didn't see you making me rest and rubbing my back, making me take pain killers. He didn't see me cuddling you, making you eat, loving on you, but who's there for him, we don't do that for him" Scott says ashamed

"We've really taken him for granted haven't we" Harry says shaking his head.

"I feel terrible Harry, he needs us and I'm so ashamed it's taken us 5 years to get here" Scott says

The boys don't realise they've been talking so long and Louis comes out of the room dressed and showered, he stops when he sees the boys.

"What are you still doing here?" Louis asks

"We were just talking Lou, can we make you some breakfast?" Harry asks

"I'll eat later, you're going to be late" Louis says as he goes to grab his bag

"We're head of the department Louis, we can be as late as we like" Scott says smugly

Louis sighs

"Well I'm not and I can't so, have a great day" Louis says and he heads for the door.

"Louis wait" Harry says

Louis looks back curiously, the boys see his eyes are red and he looks like he may have been crying, it absolutely shatters them

"We're sorry" Harry says defeatedly

"For what?" Louis asks

"Everything really" Scott says

"Please stop apologising to me, I'm the one who went in without a vest, that's on me, look, I really have to go, just forget about it, and you know I won't really make you sleep on the couch so.." Louis says sighing at the end, he has a massive headache and a huge day. He turns to leave

"That's not what we meant Lou" Scott says but Louis is already out the door.