Journal entries

Saturday September 18, 2021 9:56pm Entry #1

Hi girlbosses!

Idk if I spelled that right but oh well. Uhhhhh wtf am I even supposed to say?

ANYWAYS

I didn't even do anything today. I want to skate. I don't wanna skate outside my house tho bc of 2 things. 1: it gets really boring just going up and down the street. 2: there are always ppl outside.

I hate skating in front of ppl. I also hate it when my neighbors come outside when i'm skating. One time I was skating in front of the driveway and Malik pulled up behind me, so I moved out the way so he could go in the driveway and he didn't even go in, he just drove away 😐.It was so awkward.

I miss Khal Abraheem. We don't go to Gedas house anymore bc of Nooria. Idc that I had to stop talking to her but I wish that didn't mean we can't go to Gedas house.

I had to come home from school early on friday bc someone in my gym class has covid. I don't really care that i have to stay home but I hate that i'm probably going to have to do online school.

Online school sucks so bad. It makes me so anxious and it's really hard. Last year was like hell. I missed my whole middle school experience because of covid. I would give anything to go back. I regret not getting good grades but it honestly wasn't all my fault.

My mental health was really bad and the teachers didn't even help us. When covid shut down schools in 7th grade we didn't have zooms or google meets or anything like that, we just had to teach ourselves everything. They also gave us insane amounts of work.

It also really really sucked to be stuck in the house all day. By that I mean it sucked being stuck with my family all day.

Rowan was always annoying me and as soon as I would snap Mommy would attack me. She didn't care about what Rowan did to make me get to that point, all she cared about was the fact that I yelled or got annoyed at Rowan.

The thing is, I never yell.

At least I don't think I do. The worse my mental health got, the harder it got to contain. my anger. Nobody cared to think about me and why I was angry. All they cared about was that I got mad at them and they didn't like that.

Especially Mommy.

Mommy can never admit when she's wrong or when she said or did something wrong. When she would say something that made me snap I would get in trouble. she just thought that I was being an asshole.

I just lost my god damn train of thought.

I'm listening to ESNY. I love Harry Styles so much. He helped me through my darkest times. Everyone around me thinks that I'm just a stupid teenage girl with a silly little crush, but it's way more than that. It hurts my feelings when people speak negatively about him because he has done nothing to them and has done so much for me. I hate ignorant people.

Okay I don't think I have anything else to say.

BYE SEE YOU SOON!!
11:05 pm

A/N
Hiiii i hope u enjoyed the first entry. these are already written in my journal i am just transferring them to wattpad. i have a few more to write in here before i'm all caught up. I hope you all are doing good and make sure to take care of yourself. DRNK SOME WATER AND EAT SOME FOOD YOU DESERVE IT!

okay i'll see y'all in the next entry. BY LOVE YOU ALL!!