From The Heart <3 (Poems And Short Stories)

Gift No. 1

Soooo, hey! You've been so so so very kind to me these days, and thus I want to return the favor. I wanted to give you something, but I don't have much I can give. And so as I was searching for something for you I got an idea! I know this is is silly and cheesey. Maybe your not the only cheesey one, lol. But basically what I'm trying to say is that my idea was to write you something I can actually show you. I know it isn't much. Well it's actually nothing, but I hope it's okay. I'm sorry I don't have anything nicer or 'fancier' as you would say. Writing to me is everything! Anything I can't say I can put it on paper and create new possibilities. Im not good at a lot of things, actually I'm like really bad at other things, but atleast I think I'm somewhat decent at writing. Maybe in reality I'm super bad at it and people are just trying to be nice to me about it lol. I know you've had a rough go at life, but honestly who hasn't in a world like this? You always tell me such nice things, and I know that I don't have much nice things to say back so...... I thought that maybe I could write some nice things! I know I know it's dumb, but I feel bad that I can't give you what you want. So how about a compromise? And since this is my wattpad you have no say (:

I hope that this makes you feel happy: there isn't many people I can talk to in this world. My mother, Glenn, my dad, my brothers... I can't talk to them about my feelings so don't feel bad that I can't tell you them either. The only person I have ever really been able to tell them to is lil k. And honestly these last days I can feel myself getting a little looser with you. I know it isn't much. Well it's actually like nothing at all. I am trying though, I want you to know that. I've lasted longer then I thought I would be a able to, honestly I'm so surprised that I made this far. It still bewilders me that I'm actually doing this! Like me? It doesn't make any sense. Me, El me... I'm just a dumb girl who hides inside my own little realm, it's hard to let people in. Especially people who say that they care, it's practically illegal you know. I've come a long way, I used to not speak to anyone and yet there I am hanging out with you and KPM or or JO and Lil k. Well mostly Lil k. I've come far I know it's stupid and so pathetic and it may seem like it's nothing compared to your social life, but it's a lot to me. I sound so pathetic it's sad, I'm such a loser I swear to God. I'm sorry you have to deal with someone like me all the time, it has to be so frustrating and irritating. I can't believe you haven't even hit me yet out of frustration. It's a miracle indeed. I'm sorry I keep getting off topic I guess it's a good thing that you like to read because otherwise I'm sure you would have tuned out by now.

Back to nice things: so nice thing No. 2 the more time I spend with you and get to know you more the more I get comfortable around you. I'm not good at the whole 'people' thing. But with time I'll get better I promise so if your still around by then I'll be able to complete my goal. Mine. You know you say all of these nice things to me but I still don't understand why you would want to take the time to say them to somebody like me. Or how you say that I'm worth a lot but really El I'm not. I'm not worth no $50 present from someone nice like you. I still don't understand, I just can't comprehend it. It isn't right, it's not what the statistics foretell. It doesn't make sense I feel like I'm losing my mind. There! That's what I feel, you happy now?

Anyway it's 3 in the morning and I'm exhausted so I'll leave you be okay? I've had a rough night. Maybe one day I'll write you a second part! It was very fun writing this, I know that it sounds silly to have fun writing a dumb little thing, but I really did.