From The Heart <3 (Poems And Short Stories)

Gift No. 3

Well as you well know I'm better in paper then in person with my words. I miss you today, I really do. Yesterday was such a big day for both of us. The secret kisses and hugs... And of course the hand holding... We totally didn't get caught doing that! We're not that dumb right?!... Well maybe... Let's just forget that, it's embarrassing. Thank you El truly, I appreciate you so much. I know isn't want you want, but honesty is the best policy so it's all I can offer. I can't say I love you yet, but I can say that I like you for you. And that will just have to be enough. You really did catch a grenade for me, you just haven't realized it yet. I don't feel my best today and I had a horrible night, that hadn't happened in years, I don't know why it decided to just show up. I'm sorry you shouldn't have had to deal with that. Sorry for all the craziness... I'm not that mentally damaged right?! It's not like I have an obsession over monsters that live in closets and under beds... Nah, not me. My noodle was just acting up again, you know how that goes. The noodle makes all the rules and my imbalanced chemicals... I feel like I should explain the whole situation last night, but in the same breath I really don't want to, it's... Ah, ah different to say the least. So yeah I'll just leave it at that for now, you don't really need to know anyways... Right? Yeah I'm just gonna go with that. Look at how many words I wasted on this nonsense. And look how many more I'm going to waste by saying that it's a waste.

My, my paramour (: I like that word, I don't know why. But, I think it's cute. You may say all of these negative things about yourself, but do you ever take the time to conjure up a way to make them a positive? Let's take the three things I see you say the most about yourself and turn them into something else. No. 1 your stupidity... Yes you say your dumb all the time, but you know what's funny, El? You don't even realize your brilliance. You talk about cars as if there some kind of puzzle to solve. You speak of different mythologies as if you've known them your entire life. You can do mental math dude, I can't do that. Your not dumb and never have been, you say that I'm the reason your passing but El that's not the truth! It's you, not me silly, I'm not even in half of the classes that you are in. You got this El. Okay, okay let's go to No. 2 you say "oh I'm so ugly, you must be embarrassed of me" dude... Stop! Your not ugly okay... Just stop your nonsense, you are fine just the way you are, okay? Let's just go to No. 3 your weight... It's not my place to say anything, but listen my mom's thick okay, and she's the most warmest and comfy'est person I know. You sir are just fine the way you are, that's the way God made you, man. Just let it be. Okay let's stop here and let's go down a different route now. I'm almost out of space. Am I being to much this time? Is this toxic positivity? Shhhh if it is just flow with it, yeahhhhhh... Just ignore it. I'm wayy extra, I know this, I do. But, we only have so much further to go now.

Oh! I know this is random, but... My dad's side doesn't really know I write, soooooooo... Maybe let's not mention that I like writing? Okay, I just like to keep things to myself, especially from them. And so, it's like my little secret from them, well like years worth of secrets so, what's the harm in adding onto the stack? Yeah... That's what I thought. I know this is all over board, I've been at my dad's for Almost a week it's like going into different worlds. At home I have nothing much but I feel at ease, on the flip side when I'm at dads they have so much more, I have nice clothes and pajamas! I dont really own pajamas at my house, but that's not important. I'd rather be with my mom. It's so cold and stressful there; it's not my kind of world.