hand over hand

chapter 4

Shinji woke up even before his alarm could sound at 10:00 am, he had barely gotten any sleep but still, he felt really energetic. He had forgotten to set the clothes he was going to wear this day, but it wasn't until 6:30 pm that he would meet up with Kaworu, so he put on the first thing he could find in his closet and decided that after classes he'd take a bath and change his clothes to look good. He brushed his teeth and left his room and met Rei for breakfast at the kitchen counter. He remembered Asuka telling him that he had to apologize to his sister, he was a bit nervous to do so, but Rei looked like she was in a good mood. "Hey, how did you sleep?" It was a dumb question since he really didn't care how she slept but he wanted to clear the awkwardness in the room.

She looked up from her book to look at her brother. "I slept great, thanks. How 'bout you?"

The boy nodded while pouring himself a bowl of cereal. "I slept great too. Listen, Rei. I wanted to say sorry for what happened last night. What I said to you was mean and I behaved like an asshole, I really hope you can forgive me." He didn't look at her while apologizing but he could feel Rei's eyes on him.

"I understand, Shinji. You got upset about what Asuka said, she shouldn't have said it in the first place, besides, what you said wasn't directed towards me, but to everyone in the room." Whether Rei wanted to accept it or not, she would still get very uncomfortable talking about her transition, gender, and sexuality. It had always been a hard thing to discuss with everyone, especially since a guy she was talking to ghosted her after she came out to him.

Shinji hated that she would always try to justify all of his actions even when he hurt her. She would put herself down, and even though Shinji did the same with almost everyone he knew, he felt that no one should do that or feel less than others. "No, it was my fault, okay? Don't try to justify what I did, just accept the apology, if you want to obviously. Because I really care about you, Rei, and I don't want you to think that I still see you as just gay or that I don't care about your identity or how you feel." Shinji said calmly, reaching for Rei's hands to establish more of a connection between the both of them.

"Okay, I get it. Thank you, for apologizing. Just apologize to Asuka and Mari too, okay?"

Shinji smiled at how much his friends cared about each other and squeezed his sister's hand to then let it go and continue eating his cereal. "I will." He made a mental note to apologize to Mari, he'd do it when she came back from his classes.

***

It had been a year and a half since Rei had come out to her friends as a trans girl. They would make sleepovers so they could dress Rei up in Asuka's clothes, they would do each other's makeup and even Shinji would wear skirts and get his face painted as support to his little sister. Eventually, it was too big of a deal for Rei to keep from her parents, who would still call her Ryo and gave her huge gender dysphoria. So she asked for help from Shinji and Asuka to tell her parents, who agreed and planned the whole thing with them. Rei wanted it to be simple and fast, no questions asked so her friends would be able to help with that part.

Rei had read online that she had to be direct and get to the point as soon as possible, to avoid any confusion about it.

So there they were. Yui and Gendo were sitting on a couch looking a the three kids in front of them who were in a line looking back at the adults. Rei had told them that she wanted to do the talking first and if she got stuck they could step in and help her. "We all, well, I have something very important to tell you both." As she wanted to continue talking her throat started to dry and she made a hand motion to Shinji so he would get him some water. He immediately understood and ran to the kitchen to get what his sister had asked for. She drank all the water in a big gulp and turned to see her parents again. They weren't saying anything, they both had a face of confusion but tried to stay happy to not scare their son from saying whatever he was trying to say. "Okay, sorry. Now, as you guys know, I'm your son."