Y/n Holmes // Sherlocks Sister

11

-Sherlocks POV-

"Sherlock?" I hear Mrs. Hudson say after coming through the front door.
"Hm?" I say whilst sipping my tea and reading the news paper.
"Is Y/N okay?" I look past the paper towards her, confusion washing over my face.
"I believe so, why do you ask?"
"Well, a couple of hours ago when I was walking through the park to get to town, I saw her sitting on the bench, just.. looking? I'm not sure what she was doing to be perfectly honest but she looked quite unwell, maybe like she'd been crying. Her eyes were red and she was shaking an awful lot."
"I haven't heard her come home so I'm assuming she's still there," I say getting up.
"No no, when I tried to go up to her she just walked away, not very well though."
"What do you mean not very well?"
"She was just kind of, all over the place, you know?"
"Stumbling? Trying to get past everyone?"
"Yeah something like that, but I know she's here, her main lights on."
"She's not upset, Mrs. Hudson, she's high. How could you not tell you're husband owned a drug cartel?" I say whilst making my way to the door.
"Well I'm terribly sorry Sherlock but I didn't get a close enough look," sarcasm laced through her voice. I walk past her, making my way up to Y/N's flat.

-Y/N's POV-
I'm just watching whatever it is when Sherlock comes into my flat, slamming the door behind him.
"Why weren't you at college," he asks in annoyance, "And don't you dare try and tell me you were because Mrs. Hudson saw you at the park."
"I didn't feel too well so I sat outside for a bit trying to get some fresh air, is that not alright?" I ask already getting mad at him.
"No. No Y/N that's not alright because you are ruining any chance you have left of a future! Not to even mention that you were and still clearly are high. I just want to know why. Why cant you go into school and last a full day like everyone else?" He questions whilst raising his voice.
I stand up and walk towards my bedroom.
"Oh no, you are not just going to walk away from me. I let you walk away from me before and this is where it's gotten us. I can't understand what has gotten you to this point of self-destruction whe-", he stops and looks down. I narrow my eyebrows and follow his eye line to where he's looking. My wrist. Shit. I try crossing my arms but Sherlock tugs them away from each other. I suck in a sharp breath through my teeth as he applies pressure to my arm, his grip softening as I do. My hearts beating so fast I feel like I'm going to have a heart attack.
"Oh Y/N," he sighs, letting go and rubbing his eyes. "How did I not notice? The long sleeves, your manner, everything. Why?" he says, looking me dead in the eyes.
I just shrug, looking down and putting my arm behind my back.
"Is what you used clean?"
"Uhm, yeah. I think."
"What did you use?"
"Just an old pencil sharpener blade."
"And the others?"
"What?" how the hell could he know there's more then one?
"No one who self harms would just have one thing they use. So, what's the others?"
"I only have two, the other is one from a razor."
"Okay, and where are they?" I stay silent. As if I would tell him that.
He sighs and goes to touch my arm again. I just slowly move back to avoid his attempt to see them again, shame filling me up from head to toe.
"From what I saw, they haven't been cleaned. Now, would you like me to get some anti-bacterial wipes from my flat and clean them or for John to do it?"
"I can do it myself," I state, feeling like a kid who was caught staying up when they shouldn't have been.
"I'd like to stay and watch then, just to make sure you do it properly," I look up at him, pleading him to just let me do it myself with my eyes, "Don't worry, I'm not just going to stare at you whilst you do it, I'll just give quick glances to make sure you are."
"Okay," I mutter quietly, to consumed by the overpowering feelings which I couldn't quite put together.
"Do you have any? Mrs. Hudson usually keeps a first aid kit in one of the bathroom cupboards."
"Uh, maybe I don't know."
"I'll go and check."
I just sit on the sofa, still processing what's going on. How could I be so careless. My high immediately coming down as I sit there, wallowing in self pity and hatred.

After a few moments, Sherlock comes back with a couple of wipes in his hand. He places them on the table and sits next to me. I open one and slowly start to wipe away the dried blood from the night before, and some new blood which must have formed when I grazed it across my hoodie and when Sherlock touched them. I try my best to conceal the pain, a few flinches being shown here and there.

"Look, I know it isn't easy to open up to someone, especially your brother. However, if I can be of any assistance towards you-"

"Can you speak to me like
I'm human please?" I ask him, hoping he'll let down his English vocabulary for a second.

"If I can help you, if you need to talk, I'm always here. This isn't going to be a good way to deal with things in the long run. It might feel like it's okay now but in the future, it will all come tumbling down and it will hit you harder then ever. Just talk to me, or write down what you need to say for me. But please, if you ever feel like harming yourself, ever, come to me. I'll make sure this doesn't happen again."

I just nod, finishing up with the cleaning.

"I've already made a start in supporting you with this," he pulls out the cardboard box, shaking it, the blades taunting me as they rattle. "This will be coming with me and you will never see it again. Now, I won't tell our parents since I feel like you would find that quite revealing and unpleasant of me." I just nod a sign of thanks towards him, grateful he won't tell them.
"However," here we go ," I will be letting Mycroft know since he has eyes everywhere at all times anyway so it'll be better if it comes from me and not some random person. It feels strange to just leave you so either come down to the flat with me and John or go straight to bed. You choose."

"You're not my dad, I can make my own choices," I state. Why is he acting so protective? I mean yeah he did just find out that I hurt myself but it's not that serious.

"Yes, you can make your own choices but as we both know those choices aren't always the most beneficial for yourself or anyone else. So, mine or bed?"

"Fuck off," I say rolling my eyes and going to my bedroom. I just close the door and get into bed. My tiredness taking over as I fall asleep.