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Porque

~~~

The afternoon was calm, but Erica's heart isn't. A lot of things are bothering her. And that includes him.

Her surroundings were silent, as the orange sunlight peaked through her glass window. Her bedroom was quite a mess, not because she made them, but because she became careless for the past few days.

A knock came on her bedroom door, but she didn't dare to open it for that person.

"Dear, I hope you let me in. Not eating for two days straight will be bad for you."her mother spoke at the other side.

Erica buried her face more in between her crossed arms on her knees as she sat on her bed, not taken care of. Her hair was a messy bun, too messy that it was sticking everywhere on her face. Her clothes were wrinkled, and she knows she smells awful for she haven't bath in those two days. Her stomach was growling and in pain for not eating anything but only water that she thankfully had in her room, but it doesn't replace the pain that she's feeling on her chest, throbbing and making a lump in her throat.

She wanted to get out of this feeling too, but her emotions are clouding her right mind. She's not thinking about anything except for the fact that he's gone. He's gone from her embrace and warmth. And she knew she won't have him back.

This is the case of being too close to someone you love, and for pushing your luck too much that it will just hurt you in the end. For hoping, only to end up having nothing. For trusting his actions, only to be left hanging, and questions unanswered, even though you clearly knew what it would be.

But wouldn't it be better to hear it from himself?

But he's already gone and he will never come back... Erica spoke inside her mind. She sighed for the nth time today and had the feeling that she'll cry once again.

"Just...call me if you need me okay?"her mom said, even though she didn't reply.

She heard her footsteps retreating and slowly disappearing from her hearing until she felt the silence enveloping her chaotic room, again.

Her little letters were scattered around, ripped and crumpled. Those words in those papers doesn't matter now, for the person it was meant to be send to was already gone in her life. Those feelings that she intended on writing those stupid and naive letters, were wasted for nothing. Nothing.

She broke down into silent sobs. Hours passed by and she laid there, unmoving and spacing out into her thoughts while looking at the ceiling. Her mother returned for her earlier to call her for dinner but like what she always do, she stays silent and locking the door. Her mother was worried, but she knew her daughter will get through this that's why she's not forcing her to talk to her about her problem. She will try to understand her, and keep up with her silent locking in her room and to wait until she's finally fine and moved on.

Erica sat on her bed, looking around her room as her eyes spotted a picture frame, her picture with him, both of them were smiling and were genuinely happy with each other.

How did this end up into this?

She slowly got out of her bed to reach it above her cabinet. She sat on the edge of her bed once she got a hold of it.

She stared at the picture, caressing his face beneath the glass frame with her pale fingers. She smiled sadly, as she recall those times they were together.

-

They were walking together, she was gripping onto her backpack as he tell her jokes and she would laugh at it. They just finished their class and now heading home.