can't help it, i want u. 18

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they awkwardly sat in the car. nini stared through her windshield, noticing the subtle raindrops starting to fall on-top of her car. the clouds made the lighting in the car more dark and dreary.

ricky leaned his head against the window, his body facing nini's. he watched the girl with curiosity as the boy waited for her to say something. he glanced at what she was staring at and realized how hard it was starting to rain.

a cold draft breezed through the car making the two teenagers reach for the heater. they both froze once their hands touched and they looked up at each other with longing eyes.

"oh, sorry," ricky quickly apologized, "it's your car. i shouldn't be—"

"—no, no it's fine. i should've turned it up more earlier," nini quickly said. ricky nodded his head and pulled his hand away, letting nini take the reins.

"you wanted to talk?" ricky finally asked in a hush tone. nini tucked her hair behind her ears and nodded her head.

"i uh, i don't know. i guess i wanted to first... say sorry for being a shitty person and friend," nini started to say. ricky's face fell and he quickly sat up.

"no no no, neens. you're not—"

"—ricky, just let me finish, please?" nini calmly asked. ricky nodded his head and leaned back into the window again.

"i...i know things got weird between us because of that one night when we almost kissed and then i told you i liked you ... but uh... i can't get mad at you for not liking me. i let my feelings get the best of me and i shouldn't have acted so irrational," nini softly said, avoiding eye contact with ricky. she continued, "but... that also doesn't mean that it was entirely my fault.. ricky, i love you.. like you're my best friend and everything but i just wish you wouldn't have led me on or tried to kiss me when you had no feelings for me. it just made me feel really confused... also that whole thing with jack was super bizarre and it's just... it just got too much at the same time. if you didn't like me ... then you shouldn't have gotten involved in my love life at all. i'm not mad at you, i just wish things didn't get so bad.... like you could've told me that you liked gina and i would've been—"

"—woah woah woah, what?" ricky suddenly cut nini off, "you think i like gina?"

nini froze and finally made eye contact with ricky, "uh... i don't know, yeah? it sure seems like it.. i don't know."

"what makes you say that?"

"uh... you guys just seem really close lately... i saw you guys holding hands and hugging a lot too.. i don't know?"

ricky let out a sigh and shook his head, "gina and i are just friends, trust me. we all know ej and gina have a thing and i would never do that to him. besides, the only reason we got close is because she was the only who talked to me after you all cut me off."

the girl fell silent and looked down, feeling disappointed in herself. she nodded her head and gave ricky a forced smile, "yeah, that makes sense. i'm sorry again for that. i don't know what we were thinking..it was stupid and like really fucked up ... i just... i'm sorry again."

"neens, stop saying sorry."

"ok, sorry," nini apologized once more, eyeing the boy. ricky sighed and let out a small chuckle, making nini softly smile. "i just said that last one to piss you off."

"i know you did," ricky stated in a more upbeat tone. the car fell silent with the only sound being the raindrops falling onto the car. ricky continued, "can i ask you something then?"

nini nodded her head, "anything."

"are you still scared of me...?" ricky quietly asked, almost regretting his question. nini folded her lips into a small line and shook her head.

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