VLOG IT! (Until The Moment Comes) COMPLETED

Pangalawang Bahagi

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I was walking back then in the corridor of our school. There are lots of people, students who are talking about their experiences of their summers. I was too stiff when I was in high school. I rarely have friends who would accompany me that's why every summer, I spend my time on our farm in the US with the horses, chickens, cow and the other animals on our farm.

I was used to that kind of living. Alone most of the time. Lonely. But everything changes when I met her. It's almost the end of our year as a senior high school when I met her. I clearly remember how it was epic.

I just wanted to watch the practice of the baseball team that time but an  unexpected  event happened.

Kakapasok ko pa lang sa stadium kung saan sila nagpapractice when a ball of a baseball is coming through my direction.

" You tall handsome black haired guy! You need to avoid the ball!," sabi ng boses ng isang babae.

Napatingin pa ako sa kanya na tumatakbo papunta sa direksiyon ko. My arms are inside of my pocket when I stared at her, frustratingly telling me to avoid the ball but it was too late for me to realized that a ball is coming to my direction.

The baseball hit my forehead. Sa sobrang lakas ng pagkakasapol nito sa noo ko, napahiga ako sa sahig. Nakarating siya sa tabi ko na nakangiwi matapos makita ang lagay ko.

"Don't you even have an eyes? You're stupid. I already told you to avoid it... Aish!," she annoyingly said.

Nakatitig lamang ako sa kaniya nang mga oras na yun. Hindi ko maramdaman ang sakit ng pagkakatama ng baseball sa noo ko.

She look down on me. "Are you ok- OH MY!!! You're forehead is bleeding! Coach! We need an ambulance now!," I heard her shouted.

Naupo siya sa tabi ko samantalang patuloy na nakatingin lamang ako sa kaniya at kumurap lamang ng kumurap.

"Does it hurt?,"she asked but I couldn't bring myself to answer her. " Aish! Of course it's hurt! You got hit by a baseball on the forehead. Why am I even asking that?, " she said.

" Hey! Why are you not even groaning in pain? I know it hurts a lot. I've already experience that. Yikes! Are you still alive?! Why are you not answering me?! Waaaah! If you're gonna die I will be put in jail! Don't die!, " she suddenly cried.

"I am fine," I said but as soon as I said that, I fell into unconsciousness.

And since then, hindi na niya ako tinantanan.

******

Kasalukuyan akong nasa loob ng hospital. Alam ko naman na ang rason kung bakit ako narito at bumalik sa Pilipinas ay upang makita ko siya. She's my late girlfriend's best friend. After that accident that took my girlfriends life, I  have never seen her again. Tapos malalaman ko na lang pala na narito siya sa Pilipinas and that she's sick.

I went to the nurse desk to ask her room number.

"You need something sir?," a nurse asked.

"Ahm, I-I want to visit Thalia Stella De chavez. What's her room number?"

"Ahm your relationship to her?"

My relationship to her?

Ano nga ba? Sandaling hindi ako makasagot sa tanong na yun. Are we friends? I don't know. He words still lingers through my ears that day.

"You're not my friend! You're never my friend! Pinabayaan mo siya! You said you'll gonna save her! But why is she gone now?! This is all your fault! This all your fault! I shouldn't have let a stranger like you come into our life! "

" ahm sir?"

I came back from my reverie and look at the nurse in front of me.

Umiling ako sa kaniya. " I'll visit her some other time, " sabi ko na lamang at umalis na roon.

I sigh. How can I talk to her when I'm holding back like this?

Napatigil ako sa akmang pag alis nang magsalubong ang mga mata namin. Malapit siya sa entrance ng hospital habang ako ay nasa lobby ng hospital.

Hindi ko alam kung anong mararamdaman ko. Hindi ko alam kung ano ba dapat ang gagawin ko. Should I say Hi?

Unti-unti siyang lumapit sa akin hanggang sa nasa harapan ko na siya. Hinanap ko siya noon. Hinanap ko siya dahil gusto kong pauulit ulit na humingi ng tawad dahil totoo namang kasalanan ko ang nangyari noon. Hinanap ko siya pero ngayong nasa harapan ko na siya, ni hindi ko manlang magawang ibuka ang bibig ko.

"I was about to act like we don't know each other but I remember that I'm not holding grudges anymore to you,"she said. " Still the stiff Stanley I know, " seryosong sabi niya pero unti unting napalitan ng maliit na ngiti ang nakasimangot niyang bibig.

I suddenly teared up seeing her. It hurts my heart to see her like this. Mas gusto ko pang magalit siya. Pagsalitaan niya ako ng mga masasakit na salita but not like this. I felt like the biggest bad guy ever existed.

"You're crying."

"Thalia... just why are you so sick? Just why are you like this? I know you hate me because I'm the reason why Arise is not here with you. Can't you just punch me, slap me or tell me that I am so bad?," I said crying and sobbing iim front of her.

"What's the use of it? It won't bring Arise back. I'm glad that you're at least trying to live after what happened. I'm glad that you're doing your best to live in this world full of chaos. And also, I don't want to resent or hold grudges on you or to anyone anymore. It's so tiring and I don't even know when I'm gonna die. "

" You're not gonna die, Thalia. You're not. I won't let it happen," I said while wiping my tears

Ngumiti lamang siya sa akin.

" Thalia! You leave again without telling me? "

Pareho kaming napatingin sa tumawag sa kaniya. Her mom.

" Doktora, I just went outside to get some fresh air. You worried too much. "

Sinimangutan siya ng mommy niya bago napatingin sa akin.

"Stanley? Is that you?!," gulat na sabi ni Tita Amenda.

Tumango ako pagkatapos ay dali dali niya akong niyakap.

"I heard what happened to your parents. We're sorry we couldn't attend the funeral that time," tita said at humiwalay sa pagkakayakap sa akin.

"No, it's fine po," sabi ko.

Napatingin ako ako kay Thalia. Nakapamulsa ang mga kamay niya sa bulsa ng  hospital gown na suot niya.

She tapped my shoulder before she leave first.

Ngumiti ako kay Tita Amenda na sinabing sumunod daw ako sa kanila. After three years and after all that happened, I still found Thalia Stella De chavez, my first love.

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" A daily dose of encouragement!. This is Thalia Stella vlogging. Learn to forgive. It's so so so tiring to hold grudges or resent someone. We all have different problems. We all have different frustrations but giving up shouldn't be a choice. Don't give up it's not over yet when some things that you want didn't happened. Don't rush things because beautiful things takes time. There are things you can't get when you want it dahil may mga bagay na hindi mo naman hiningi pero darating sayo. Life is hard. Walang madali lahat pinaghihirapan at kung pinaghirapan mo ang isang bagay, expect a bigger blessings. God ia always with us and you should remember that. That is all, this is Thalia Stella once again, always rooting for you. Cheer up! "

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K i a z y h y u n