VLOG IT! (Until The Moment Comes) COMPLETED

Ikasampo na Bahagi

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Thalia's Point of View:

Ang daya. Sobrang daya niya. Hindi ko alam kung paanong buhay ako at naoperahan na samantalang siya, bigla na lang nawala.

Five months after I recovered from my surgery, that's when I received the news that he's gone and we don't know where he went.

"M-mom, you said... you said that I can still see him after I got recovered... you said it," I said while I slowly sat down on my bed after I received a box and a letter.

"I couldn't tell you the truth, nak. He wants you to live so even if I'm lying about where he is, I still didn't tell you the truth so you could fully recovered. You know how much he wants you alive, right?," mom said.

Tears continue to flow out of my eyes. I just can't stop my tears from flowing kasi sobrang daya. Ang daya daya naman eh.

" My heart... My new heart... Tell me, Mom, who did this heart belong before me?, " I said.

Tila ayokong marinig kung kanino galing ang bagong puso na nasa loob ng dibdib ko.

Tumingala ako kay mommy. My mom is crying too it's like she doesn't want me to know who it belongs to before me.

" Mom please... "mariin kong sabi.

Umiwas nang tingin sa akin si mommy before she wipe her tears.

" He said... He said he wants you to live. He said that he'll do anything for you to live so... so kung sino man ang nararamdaman mong kanino ang puso nasa saiyo, it's that person."

I close my eyes tightly and burst out crying.

Kung hindi ba kami nagkita ulit, hindi niya naman gagawin ang bagay na yun hindi ba? Sana nagpanggap na lang ba akong walang sakit? Sana ba hindi na lang nagtagpong muli ang landas namin? Am I regretting meeting him again?

Why do you have to do that? Why do you have to give me your heart?

"It's an inevitable situation, nak. Ang araw na yun, he got shot in the head. Ginawa namin ang lahat. I want to save him too for you because I know you'll be too sad to lost a friend again but he couldn't make it. It's like he's really giving his heart to you and that he didn't fight for his life. "

" But how can I received his heart when I'm not the first one on the list? "

" Thalia, out of all the patient who has heart condition and needs a transplant, that day, you were the only one who needs immediate surgery and heart transplant. You almost died too. I cried real hard because I'm not ready to lose you and besides, isang tao lang naman ang gusto niyang makatanggap nang puso niya at ikaw iyun, 'nak. "

" I just can't accept it, Mom. I just can't. Why do he have to leave? Ang daya daya eh. "

My mom hug me. She too felt sorry about what happened. Now that I'm free from my endless pain, what should I do? Ni hindi ko nga alam kung ano ba dapat ang gagawin.

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Lumabas na ako nang hospital. I already got discharged and mom already found a home for us. Nauna na si mom sa kotse while I walk towards the beach.

Habang papalapit ako doon, unti-unting bumabalik sa alala ko ang mga oras na kasama ko siya rito. We're both laughing and teasing each other. We both film my vlog together.

Sa picture and videos ko na lang ba siya makikita?

I still can't accept it. A few months ago, he's with me but few months after, he's not with me.

"Sobrang daya mo," I said while looking at the blue ocean in front of me.

"Magpapakita ka lang ba sa akin para saktan ako at iwan nang ganito? Sobrang daya. Magkaibigan ba talaga tayo?"

I sigh.

Naupo ako sa buhanginan. I place my camera in front of me and I started recording. Binuklat ko ang huling sulat na iniwan niya sa akin. Hawak ko na ito simula pa last week I just don't have the courage to read it.

I close my eyes first before I opened it.
I bit my lower lip just my reading the first word he wrote there.

"  My Thalia Stella," I read what's written on it. That word 'MY' it feels like I'm the only Thalia Stella in his life.

" By the time you read this, you know I'm already away right? I'm sorry, sobrang daya ko ba? Sobrang sakit din kasi, Thalia na makita kang nasasaktan dahil sa sakit mo. My heart is always hurting for you, I couldn't sleep at night thinking that you might leave me and everyone so suddenly. You know I made mistakes but it is never a mistake to see you and be with you again. I misses you so much and I don't regret that we met again. You know what? I became extra happy again and regain my genuine smile because of you. I'm sorry, kung sumama na ako kay Arise. I'm sorry that we leave you. I'm sorry that you're crying because of me. I'm sorry, Thalia but right now, I want you to live and live your life however you like, me and Arise will always be there for you. Ya tebya lyublyu. "

I smiled bitterly after reading his letter. I can't stop crying and I really sob real hard after I read it.

Pinunasa ko ang mga luha ko but it won't stop from falling.

" Guys, see? That's his last letter for me. You heard it? I hate him for leaving. I hate him to leave just like that. I hate him because he didn't even say his proper goodbye and I most hate him when he said that I shouldn't leave him too but he's the one who  leave  me just like that. One month. Isang buwan lang kaming nagkasama pero... pero iniwan niya ako. Umalis siya nang hindi nagpapaalam. Umalis na siya... "

Isinubsob ko ang mukha ko sa mga tuhod ko and I continously cry and sob. I just cried and cried because it seems like I couldn't really stop myself from crying.

While I was there, I strong wind came across and I heard something.

" Thalia... I'm sorry... Don't cry anymore. I couldn't wipe your tears anymore."

Napaangat ako kaagad nang ulo at ipinalibot ang tingin sa kabuuan ng beach, but I couldn't find a similar person like him. Namamali lang ba ako ng rinig? Ano ba yung narinig ko? Siya ba yun?

" If you're here... C-can you... can you let me feel that you're here?"

Nababaliw na ba ako at sinabi ko yun? Pakiramdam ko kasi nandito talaga siya that he's still not leaving and that he's still here.

I cried even more when I didn't feel that he's here. I was about to grab my camera and leave when I saw that the screen of my camera keeps on flickering. Napakunot ang noo ko. Hindi naman ito sira pero bigla na lang nagkaganito.

Mas lalong kumunot ang noo ko nang bigla na lang ulit humangin nang malakas and I felt like something is on my lips. I unconsciously look at my camera and I started crying when I saw him there, that he's in front of me and he's kissing me.

Ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko at pinakiramdaman ang labi niya sa labi ko.

For one last time, he's there when I'm crying.

Goodbye, Stanley Graven see you next time...

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"This could be my last video for this vlog. I'm now studying at law school and pursuing my dreams. I just want to say that, you're the best and that live your life however you like because someone will always be there for you. Achieve your dreams and think maturely of every decisions you will make. You're still at the stage of achieving your dreams but don't give up. There are hard obstacles on the way but never lose hope and keep on fighting. Kaya nang iba e'di kaya mo din diba? Fighting! Know that this Thalia Stella is rooting and cheering for you! One last time, this is Thalia Stella, signing off. "

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K i a z h y u n

Epilogue is next!