Genshin headcanons and oneshots

Lumine angst

Tw: suicide thoughts, s/h, topics similar to that
If you are uncomfortable with these topics please don't read this, as I don't want anyone to do something due to something I wrote and I don't want to make someone sad in a way they didn't want if that makes sense
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    My eyes were fixated upon the blank walls of my room. Tears stained my face and made me feel absolutely disgusting. Crimson red was splattered all over the previously snowy white bedsheets. My hand roughly gripped around the handle of a blade and with every thought my clutch got tighter. The flowers in my room seemed to droop, as if my dreary mood had soaked into them, and they reflected that.
    I got up with a sigh and made strides over to the door to get to the bathroom. I had to get cleaned up before Lumine gets back. I creaked open the door and marched to the cabinet and pulled the bandaids out. I roughly put it on doing my best to make it hurt as much as I could.
    My gaze drifted to the mirror and I saw what a mess I was. My eyes were red and puffy and my hair was an absolute wreck. I swiftly grabbed the brush and detangled my knots. I splashed water in my face in an attempt to reduce the prominent color.
    My thoughts were in shambles. I couldn't look at things without thinking, "Hey I could kill myself with this." It was horrible. The mirror was like a weapon to me. The scissors were like the sharpest blades.
    I shook my head to rid myself of the horrific thoughts popping into my head at random intervals. I took a heavy breathe and attempted to calm my dreadful nerves. My heart was beating at an exceedingly  alarming rate and it was only getting worse. I felt like I could puke at any moment and I just wanted to curl up into a ball and give into the sorrowful burdens.
    I stumbled out of the bathroom and into the shared room. My strides led me to the closet and I began to change into longer, more covering and comfortable clothes. I half hid behind the desk in an attempt to hide myself in case Lumine sneaked into the room somehow.
    I started to panic realizing that I jhad to change the sheets and I rushed to do so. Before I could even get that done I heard the creak of a door and looked over, completely panic-stricken.
    "Hey!" Chirped a cheerful Lumine from inside of the doorframe, not yet noticing the very noticeably stained sheets.
    "Hi" I said feeling my legs shaking and tears begin to prickle at eyes. My whole body felt numb and I felt like I was going to pass out.
    "Are you okay-" she asked being cut off by a gasp, gaze clearly fixed upon the bright red bedsheets. "What happened!" She practically screamed in terror.
    "I- um" I stammered not knowing how to respond or even function normally. I couldn't think straight. At this point tears were streaming down my once dry face. My face heat up and my eyes made sure to only focus on the plants in the room. My hands made their way to my mouth and I lightly bit down, letting anxiety get the best of me.
    "Stop" she said walking over to me and gently moving my hand away from my face and taking me to the other end of the bed where its still it's original color.
    "I know what's going on, we can get through this. Together." She calmly comforted, resting a hand on my red cheek. My breathing was erratic and my eyes were rushing around the room trying to find an object to fixate on.
    She noticed my panic and put a hand around the back of my head and guided my head to her shoulder in a consoling manner. I tried to calm down but I couldn't.
    "I'm sorry" I murmured with a dim tone. Her eyes hooked onto mine, a look of anguish and disquiet clouding her eyes. My heart ached to hug her but I knew I couldn't get myself to. No matter how much I would try.
    "I can't do all of this, it's not your fault, I know you think that, but it's me, it's always been my fault, and that's why I have to leave," I said with a faint smile, tears peeking out of the corner of my eyes. Now we both were crying. Pain was searing throughout my legs. I felt so much agony in my body, both physical and mental. I wanted to just perish both then and there. Just to give into my urges and stab my guts out. Smash my head into the wall. Gran the matches meant to light candles and burn this place to the ground, taking me with it.
    "I'm sorry, I love you" I whispered walking out of the room.