Daylight (A SANDRO MARCOS FANFICTION)

FIFTY SEVEN

SANDRO

I cannot sleep tonight so I decided to vent out my feelings and tell the world what has been going on the past few months. My tears fell down my cheeks as I was browsing through my gallery while I looked for pictures to post on my Instagram account.

From the first sonogram of my baby girl, Louise's pregnancy shoot with her small bump until the last shoot we had in our veranda back in our unit until Iris' last sonogram whereas she looked like the splitting image of me. Crying, I still chose the photos and uploaded the video where Louise's baby bump was moving while we were both smiling in happiness while watching our baby girl move. I smiled, looking at the video and running my fingers as if she was still there.

'Iris Imelda Marcos' I captioned.

I fell in love harder with your mum when I found out she was carrying you and your twin. Sadly, we lost your twin. But then you stayed. It was only for a while but it felt like forever. Thank you for staying with us even if it was only in the span of thirty five weeks. Thank you baby girl. It was a whirlwind of laughter, happiness, excitement, love and sadness.

Your mum craved for kimchi and I found myself doing what your uncles have done before me. I laughed at them not knowing I would experience it sooner. Louise, she, your mother had a crush on a Korean guy named Lee Jong Suk but I defeated him in the end. I read you Economics while your mum read you fairytales. Your grandma Liza went onesie shopping with your mum the moment we told her about you Iris. She even threw a celebration in our family house in Forbes upon knowing that you are a girl. I think she wanted to have a daughter. Your grandma loved the name we decided for you.

Your grandpa, well, he had our lawn back at home fixed. He planted flowers for you to pick, trees for you to climb, bought you swings, slides and even had someone build a tree house so that you could play with him and your cousins whenever we go to my hometown. Your other grandpa bought a strawberry farm for you. Though I do not know why but I guess he wanted to go strawberry picking and planting with you. I saw your mum write you letters in a journal she bought when she found out about you, telling me she will give it to you either when you go to college or on your wedding day. While I bought a lake house for you and put it under your name. I imagined our small family going on vacations just as how we did when I was a kid.

Now that you are gone, your mum and I do not know where or how to start over without you. We are lost. I want to comfort her but I am broken too and I am missing you little one. Life will no longer be the same without you, anak.

I pressed the upload button. Minutes later I was flooded by comments and messages. I read them all. It made me smile but at the end of the day, no message gave me comfort. It still hurt.

THIRD PERSON

Simon and Vincent took Sandro for early dinner somewhere in Tagaytay while their wives did the same to Louise at the same time. Maybe for a change or maybe they read his Instagram post and they wanted to comfort their lost.

"How did you cope with two losses Vincent?" Sandro asked, looking at his youngest brother who was already man enough to face and admit his mistakes, came clean and now living a life with no guilt.

Vinny just looked at him and sighed. "Mine's different kuya but if you put it in the same perspective and experience, it's because Spencer and I tried. It was and still is devastating. We questioned ourselves with our life's decisions. We questioned if there was something wrong and God was punishing us for it. We asked ourselves why it happened to us."

"And?" Simon asked curiously.

"I don't know guys. The moment we told everyone about Spencer and I. The moment we admitted to our lies and mistakes, the heaviness was lifted off our shoulders. We were comforted by their words. We were able to get back up once again. Spencer told me one time that maybe our losses were wake up call to right our wrongs." Vincent shared.

"In my case, do you think it is a wakeup call?" Sandro asked.

Vinny only shrugged his shoulders. "I do not know."

"Or maybe God is testing Louise and you for something bigger," Simon interjected. Both of his brothers looked at him. "What? We all have our own dilemma which makes us question God for his plan for our lives and thus, we lost the faith if we let the dilemma rule over us."

"Point taken." Vincent mumbled.

Sandro just sighed and drank his shot of whiskey.

"I'm going to the rest room." Sandro said, standing up.

"Vinny go with him." Simon spoke.

Sandro made a face. "I'm not a kid."

"Just concerned." –Simon.

"It's just a rest room which is ten meters away Si." Sandro replied and left.

"Sandro."

Someone spoke as soon as Sandro went out the restroom.

"Kate." Sandro acknowledged, looking at her.

"Fancy seeing you here." Kate said, smiling a bit.

"Who are you with?" Sandro asked.

"Friends," She replied. "I'm sorry about what happened."

Sandro smiled a bit. "Thanks."

"Do you want to smoke?" She asked.

Sandro just looked at her and sighed. "Just one stick."

Kate nodded and walked with Sandro by the smoking area.

"How do you feel?" Kate asked, looking at him.

Sandro puffed his cigarette then looked at her. "How would you feel if you lost something you treasured the moment you knew about her existence?"

"Despair." Kate answered, looking back at his lonely eyes.

"I honestly do not know what to do Kate. I had it planned all along and the last minute everything just faded away," He said, sighing. He threw his cigarette in the cigarette box and gave Kate a smile. "Thanks Kate." Sandro said and walked.

Kate gripped his arms, stopping him.

"Ako na lang mahalin mo." She said, biting her lip.

Sandro's brows furrowed. "What?"

"Hinding-hindi kita iiwan Sandro," She continued with conviction on her voice. "Let's be Alexander and Katherine just like back in Oxford. Morning breakfast in any coffee shop you like. I'll drink my Cappuccino while you sip your English Breakfast with a bit of milk and honey. We'll party on the weekends or travel somewhere, get lost in the woods. You'll cook me sinigang, cuddle on the couch while we binge watch Keeping up with Kardashians."

"Are you mad Katherine?" He asked sternly, pulling away.

"I am just," Kate pressed her lips together, trying to sum up the things she wanted to say. The times she wanted to bring back. The time when Sandro was willing to do everything for her. "Just trying to get back what I have lost years ago. I still love you Sandro and if this was the time for us to be together again, I am so much willing to give up everything. I am ready now. Let go of Louise. Let's run away."

Sandro shook his head and pointed at his ring on his finger. "See this Katherine? This is my reality. This is the fucking reality I have right now. The things you were saying, envisioning, those were what should have been if you hadn't rejected me from the start. I have already forgotten those when Louise came in my life," Sandro's tears rolled down his cheeks as he remembered the future he envisioned with his loving wife. "I am very much in love with my wife. She is my now and tomorrows. You," He looked at her. "You were just a phase. A stepping stone for me to grow into who I am today."

He walked away, not minding Kate calling him.

Maybe that was it. His wake up call. The now and tomorrows . The answer he was looking for will always go back to Louise. 

How's your Christmas going? Sana may naka-miss saken. Dejok. I have gift for you guys. Nasa next chapter. Hope you like it. :))